Leadership in depth of knowing its members

leadership and influence essay

Dear All,

Please comment my essay below regarding leadership and influence people.
Thanks.

Leadership taking risks whatever in every circumstance, level high commitment and able to accept suffering and beatitude. Affliction is a creative way of leaders to show their abilities. No one wants to receive adversity but leaders must survive and out as a winner. Leaders who calibrate high support, high challenge environments will define healthy culture within their circles of influence. Support and challenge feels authentic at its core. True leader encourage, motivator, maximize and giving innovation.

Once upon a time in 2012 it was disappointed that there was a vendor can't fulfill materials that we held for event family gathering Mandiri Bank and for over more than 4000 people almost cancel to be served. Payment not releases yet from our customers and due the lack of vendors, we must act carefully to run this event smoothly without any delay. I place my subordinates with their passion and abilities to source materials in the field and I managed only 10.000.000 IDR to complete all the food and beverages ready to meal for event participant. I did agreement in short time with several new local suppliers and made sure that every material was hygiene in order to check safety food to be consumed. It might never be success without teamwork and integrity.

By successfully cultivating high challenged environment my subordinates will know me authentically desire to see them released in their calling. The business itself brought me in wider area of procurement. I was promoted in different business sector and lead more than 10 people. Dealing with different background person in my team made me know them personally. Leaders should be able to pay attention to every detail of the events and conditions of its members. It has happened once when one of my members getting frustrated and feeling depressed because of relationship problems. She almost committed suicide. I pray for her and tell that she is precious, nothing can replace her because every person made by a purpose and she survive until now.

I invest my time to be more leadership by learning in new environment and new experience in Follow Christ Community, Banten Mengajar, and Banten Youth Revival. I made myself become lifestyle leader; I involved globally, pray expectantly for those people needs, and bless locally my area by mentoring teenager. Leaders viewed by their results. I am on my way to shape it. Great result means great leadership.

Reni, did you use an English translator for this essay? It sounds worse than odd when being read by a native speaker. It comes across as senseless, without a purpose, unable to present a proper thought process. You may want to consider running this essay through a grammar checker for accuracy purposes. Regardless of whether you have the proper grammar in this essay or not though, that does not erase the fact that the essay is not competitive at all in presentation, information, or consideration. The essay should be reflecting your leadership and influencing skills in a professional setting, in relation to an office scenario. Your essay needs to focus on something related to the expected presentation of traits. Since this is for an extra curricular event, that isn't very well explained, you cannot really use this presentation in the essay. When you talk of the business itself, you only explain how you became a leader, but did not offer a relevant example of your leadership and influencing skills during that time. The whole essay needs to be revised. Better yet, delete this essay and try to write a new one that is more profession centered. Try to find an office scenario that called upon you to perform as a leader with excellent people skills that translates into an influencing action.