Also, does my essay contain any errors?
I'm applying for National merit finalist and I'm wondering if my essay is good enough. The prompt of the essay is: "describe an experience you have had...explain why this is meaningful to you". Here's my essay:
Thomas Edison once said that "genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration". I believe his statement can be applied to other instances as well since perseverance and an assiduous mindset are the basic keys to success in any field. For example, I am proud of learning to play a difficult music piece on piano, performing it in front of the public, and receiving a strong approval from them. I am proud of my achievement because I've never had the chance to hire a formal piano tutor and the piece, Canon in D, was relatively complex and challenging to play but despite these obstacles, I managed to learn it and perform the piece flawlessly through dedication and hard work.
I practiced playing everyday, sometimes repeating a difficult segment for countless times. If I encountered a part that I could not comprehend no matter how hard I tried to, I would ask my friends, who are proficient with the piano, for assistance. There were times that I felt like quitting, thinking that it was impossible for me to learn such a complex piece, but my friends and family were very supportive of me and offered to help me whenever they could. Encouraged by their caring support, I told myself, " while I still have a long way to go, I am closer to my goal then I was yesterday" and reapplied myself to learning how to play Canon in D.
After around half a year, I finally learned how to play the piece without any mistakes. Coincidentally, the Boys and Girls Club in San Pedro decided to host a recital on Thanksgiving Day. I signed up in order to entertain the kids there. As I sat down on the bench, under the gaze of a hundred or so people, my heart seemed to jump out of my throat. However, I was pleasantly surprised when I started playing. It appeared as if my hands were gliding automatically above the keys of the piano: I practiced so hard playing that piece that it had became second nature to me. When I hit the last note, the audience burst into thunderous applause, an assurance that I had performed well.
Although I did not receive any material awards for accomplishing this task, I was still very proud of it because I pushed myself to the limits and accomplished what I thought was impossible. From this experience, I learned that even though there were many obstacles on the road to success, they could be overcome with adequate motivation, dedication, and hard work. In addition, a little advice from family members and friends couldn't hurt either.
Now, three years from that day when I decided to master the piece no matter how inexperience I was at piano, I looked back and was amazed at all that I thought was arduous but had accomplished. Even though most of these accomplishments pushed me to my limits, I was able to persist while other people succumbed to the pressure thanks to the valuable lesson I learned from the experience mentioned above.
Any help would be very appreciated
Thanks!
I'm applying for National merit finalist and I'm wondering if my essay is good enough. The prompt of the essay is: "describe an experience you have had...explain why this is meaningful to you". Here's my essay:
Thomas Edison once said that "genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration". I believe his statement can be applied to other instances as well since perseverance and an assiduous mindset are the basic keys to success in any field. For example, I am proud of learning to play a difficult music piece on piano, performing it in front of the public, and receiving a strong approval from them. I am proud of my achievement because I've never had the chance to hire a formal piano tutor and the piece, Canon in D, was relatively complex and challenging to play but despite these obstacles, I managed to learn it and perform the piece flawlessly through dedication and hard work.
I practiced playing everyday, sometimes repeating a difficult segment for countless times. If I encountered a part that I could not comprehend no matter how hard I tried to, I would ask my friends, who are proficient with the piano, for assistance. There were times that I felt like quitting, thinking that it was impossible for me to learn such a complex piece, but my friends and family were very supportive of me and offered to help me whenever they could. Encouraged by their caring support, I told myself, " while I still have a long way to go, I am closer to my goal then I was yesterday" and reapplied myself to learning how to play Canon in D.
After around half a year, I finally learned how to play the piece without any mistakes. Coincidentally, the Boys and Girls Club in San Pedro decided to host a recital on Thanksgiving Day. I signed up in order to entertain the kids there. As I sat down on the bench, under the gaze of a hundred or so people, my heart seemed to jump out of my throat. However, I was pleasantly surprised when I started playing. It appeared as if my hands were gliding automatically above the keys of the piano: I practiced so hard playing that piece that it had became second nature to me. When I hit the last note, the audience burst into thunderous applause, an assurance that I had performed well.
Although I did not receive any material awards for accomplishing this task, I was still very proud of it because I pushed myself to the limits and accomplished what I thought was impossible. From this experience, I learned that even though there were many obstacles on the road to success, they could be overcome with adequate motivation, dedication, and hard work. In addition, a little advice from family members and friends couldn't hurt either.
Now, three years from that day when I decided to master the piece no matter how inexperience I was at piano, I looked back and was amazed at all that I thought was arduous but had accomplished. Even though most of these accomplishments pushed me to my limits, I was able to persist while other people succumbed to the pressure thanks to the valuable lesson I learned from the experience mentioned above.
Any help would be very appreciated
Thanks!
