Love Accounting - What is your motivation to participate in our program?

Dear all, I'm applying for a fully sponsored summer internship which aim to provide local governance training to its participants.
Please help critique this essay so as to make it look convincing enough to get me the opportunity. Thanks

My Motivation for applying for this programme

My name is xxxxxxx, a Nigerian youth, and a graduate of xxxxxxxx University in Nigeria. I am an accountant who loves to deal with figures, gathering details, recording and giving reports about work done.

I would like to be part of the International Summer Internship in xxxxxxxx because the program in its entirety symbolizes an effort towards multilateralism at youth level, a pulling together of concerted efforts to shape our future together; and this is a groundbreaking phenomenon that I would be privileged to be a part of. The program offers me a chance to obtain certain instrumental skills of professionalism; a chance to hone my soft skills, sharpen my understanding and practicability of negotiation, calculations, public relations, amidst others.

I believe in building capacity for leadership, for transformation, for purpose, and for cooperation. I also believe that by being part of the International Summer Internship, I would be able to acquire and build upon certain critical skills that would enhance my capacity to be a better leader in this globalizing world.

I grew to love Accounting because I was raised in a background that depended on Accounting and Statistics to thrive. My interest in the accounting profession grew. I was introduced to the field of Public Sector Accounting in my final year as an undergraduate and it intrigued me because it dealt a great deal with public policies and statistics relating to governance at all levels including local, state government and national domains.

Exposure to this field has heightened my interest in the workings of how statistics and quantitative analyses influence affairs at local government levels in my country.

I worked with a private organization before and during my undergraduate days where I learned extensively, practical issues relating to accounting. After I graduated, I worked with Cititrust Holdings, during which time I got to improve my analytical,communication and administrative skills.

I aspire to deepen my knowledge about local government administrations because I believe that it is going to be a great advantage to me as an emerging African leader. After the internship, I intend to replicate the skills and knowledge that I will acquire by impacting what I have learned to my junior colleagues and friends.

I look forward to applying such skills by serving in a public policy setting in my country and facilitating multilateral efforts in leadership that would bring about grass-root changes. I intend to further my studies by undertaking a Master's degree in public sector accounting.

You are spending all of the essay enumerating your passions, listing your skills, and telling the reviewer about yourself, interests, and your beliefs. That is where the problem of this essay lies. You are just telling the reviewer, you are not showing the reviewer any justification for your claims through personal action, civic participation, academic excellence, or visible leadership traits. All of which should be included in the narrative because these should be a part of your motivation response. It should highlight who you are, based on the objectives, mission, or vision of the organization in relation to the students whom they sponsor for the scholarship.

How does a degree in Accountancy and your experience as an accountant make you a valid candidate for the scholarship? What part of your work exposure has required you to become a leader, convenor, or governor? Justify the applicability of your profession and skills with local governance. Your essay does not indicate anything that would even make the reviewer guess that you have such required skills. Focus less on telling and do more showing. That way the essay might portray you as a viable candidate for the scholarship.