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Maintain good relations with positive people can help developing myself as a person; Chevening essay



rrizky96 2 / 4  
Oct 31, 2018   #1
Hi! I would love to hear your feedback on this networking essay that I wrote for Chevening scholarship application.

Networking Skills essay



Chevening is looking for individuals with strong professional relationship building skills, who will engage with the Chevening community and influence and lead others in their chosen profession. Please explain how you build and maintain relationships in a professional capacity, using clear examples of how you currently do this, and outline how you hope to use these skills in the future.

My own experience and observation have taught me that investing my time to maintain good relations with positive people can help developing myself as a person and working for greater causes, especially for an aspiring researcher as I am.

At the beginning of my time in the university, I started to build a network when I joined a campus organization called Xxxx Xxxx Xxx Xxxxxxx. In the organisation, I befriended not only with fellow students of my batch, but also with senior students. One of my seniors offered me to fill in his position at Xxxxx Xxxxx Xxxxxxxx (XXX). My obvious commitment and desire to strive in my academic career while working part-time appeared to impress my supervisor in XXX. My good academic record and ability to converse in English encouraged her to introduce me to her colleagues. Through this connection, I was given the opportunity to write a review for a research article by a professor in Australian National University. The Indonesian scholars in Australia with whom I have had good relations since my time in XXX were also willing to give recommendations when I applied for jobs as they had known about the result of my work before, both in academic and job-related field.

After graduation, I was aware that I had to step up my networking skills to succeed in my professional career. Working with prominent foreign practitioners and researchers in Xxxx Xxx Xxxx (XXX) has particularly pushed me to learn about managing relations with different parties, including the local people in Maluku, Indonesia, that collaborate closely with us. I believe that respecting other people regardless of their economic and education background is of paramount importance to establishing any trusting relationship. Furthermore, voicing our opinions in the right manner and time, and honesty, is necessary to maintain long-term personal and professional relations. By conducting myself on the basis of those principles, I earned trusts from my colleagues in XXX and the local people and government. As the result, my colleagues in XXX fully support my plan to pursue master's degree. They also have agreed to give recommendation letter to universities in the UK when needed.

My plans upon returning to Indonesia include collaborating with researchers and practitioners from different backgrounds interested in rural empowerment and sustainable development. Indonesia clearly needs more qualified and experienced individuals working in the least developed regions across Indonesia, particularly eastern Indonesia, to foster improvement in the people's well-being. My current works have allowed me to be involved in such collaboration. However, I believe that being a Chevening scholar will open up new possibilities of meeting young professionals from around the world and learning from their experiences.

(word count: 445 words)

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15384  
Nov 1, 2018   #2
Adinda, your essay is descriptively strong but weak in example presentation. I would not rely on the academic networking skill that you have to push the total essay through for you in the application process. That is very weak. You only explained how the networks are developed and nurtured on your part. There is no real example of a currently working network on your part. The network needs to show a usability within your profession otherwise it will not be considered a proper networking example that will bring any benefits to the Chevening community. Try to include more working samples in the essay and less discussion of the nurturing part. The way you develop and maintain the networks needs to be shown within the samples rather than discussed separately.

The last paragraph of your essay should be removed and placed in the post study career plan discussion instead. The information included is irrelevant to the current discussion. So put a pin in it and use it in the more appropriate essay discussion instead.


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