Please help with my essay, I am writing this for a university, Please proof read and also let me know if this is on the right track.
In less then 500 words right an essay for the following, there are three questions, will put up my other ones later, think it will be way too long if I put them in one thread.
1.How have your past experiences shaped who you are and benefited you as a person? Please show how these experiences are relevant to the program you've applied to.
I have had many good and bad experiences within my years, which have shaped and benefited me as a person. My experiences have developed my inner self as a student and helped me to discover what programs I am interested in for my post-secondary education. I have learned all this and developed my skills and passions by my academic and extracurricular experiences.
I had many academic experiences, whether at the time I may have thought of them as negatively or positively, they all seemed to teach me valuable lesions and new skills. My most memorable learning experience was in grade ten. This is where my Math mark, was a surprisingly low sixty, at the time I blamed the teacher. However it taught me early on that I need to adapt to different teachers and different teaching styles, and they all can work to better my academic marks, if I adapt. More over, my academic experiences taught me new learning styles, and developed my grades as I become aware of different studying methods for different types of quizzes, tests and subjects. To a greater extend, not only academically but in today's life, we need to adapt to better our self, community and the world at large.
Extra-curricular activities are also a great experience that shaped my passions. The first club I joined was the Game Programming Club (GPC). At first I was hesitant to join, but I decided to enter anyways and to this day I am glad I made that decision. It made me develop new skills, and learn about new career path in Game development, in specific I enjoyed 3D modeling. In addition to this, I also learned to just join new teams and clubs and not to hesitate. Now I am a president of this club, leading and teaching all the new members as well as setting up promotions to intrigue other members in joining. The GPC, is the reason I have decided to apply to UOIT, and specifically their Game Development and Entrepreneurship program.
I believe all of these experiences are relevant to the program I have applied to at UOIT. This can be seen true, as firstly studying Game development for me, is something different therefore, I need to adapt accordingly which is something I learned from my academic experience. As well, my extra-curricular experiences have made me try new things, so I did so by applying to a newly created university. Not only that, but my extracurricular activities, in specific the GPC taught me about this new career available for me, as a game developer. I will take everything I have learned from these experiences, and apply them to my university program in order to succeed.
Thanks!
Hi,
I have had many good and bad experiences within my yearsduring the past , which have shaped and benefited me as a person. MyThese experiences haveinfluenced the development of developed my inner self as a student and helped me to discover what programs I am interested in for my post-secondary educationmy passion for Game Development . I have learned all this and developed my skills and passions by my academic and extracurricular experiences. (I feel that this sentence is not fitting here. You've already said this fact in your previous sentence.)
-------Try to avoid the tendency of repeating the same idea several times. This fact is significant in your second para. Your third para is interesting in which you tell your experience in detail and relate it to your decision of applying to the new course.
GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR APPLICATION!
I see some eloquent language in that first paragraph, but it actually does not really say much.
I have had many good and bad experiences within my years, which have shaped and benefited me as a person. My experiences have developed my inner self as a student and helped me to discover what programs I am interested in for my post-secondary education. I have learned all this and developed my skills and passions by my academic and extracurricular experiences. None of this tells the reader anything. The reader will skim over this to get to the meaningful part. It is better for you to weed it out of the garden.
Very good examples, good stories.
This can be seen true, as firstly studying Game development for me, is something different therefore, I need to adapt accordingly which is something I learned from my academic experience. This is a run on sentence, and it has grammar problems. You should replace it with a simpler sentence. Never tell the reader more than necessary. :-)
