medical technology: essay question for internship application

Hi,
I'm applying for medical technology internship, and I have to write why I want to be a medical technologist. It's kind of hard because words are very limited, less than 100. Can somebody help me with this. This is my first draft

"The human element in such relationships is irreplaceable. As a student in the health science field, technology was my other interest. Technology will shape the future of mankind, humanity can touch individual lives. A parallel progress in the advances of medical knowledge and techniques with healthcare accessibility will promote a healthy society. After taking the laboratory and lecture courses in medical technology, the acknowledgment of its impact in medicine inspired me more. As an interpreter, I successfully bridged the communication gap between a doctor and non-English speaking patient to achieve an effective medical treatment. In becoming a medical technologist, I will have more opportunities to be part of interdisciplinary team to save lives with my medical techniques"

The human element in such relationships - what relationships
is irreplaceable - why are they irreplaceable.
Technology will shape the future of mankind and humanity can touch individual lives.
in the advancesadvancement of medical knowledge
In becomingIf I become a medical technologist

Don't begin and end with quotation marks unless you're quoting someone else.

" The human element in the medical field is irreplaceable.

As a student in the health science field, I was (Are you still?) also interested in technology. was my other interest.

Technology will shape the future of mankind, and humanity touches individual lives.

A parallel progress in the advances of both medical knowledge, and techniques for promoting health care accessibility, will help build a healthy society.

After taking the laboratory and lecture courses in medical technology and realizing the importance of its impact on medicine, I was even more inspired.

In becoming a medical technologist, I will have more opportunities to be part of interdisciplinary team to save and enrich lives with my medical techniques.

I think at the end you should also mention humanity, that's why I wrote 'and enrich' into the last sentence. Good luck in school!

:)

Thank you Susan and renga. Your feedbacks help me a lot. I really appreciate that.