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'I am a member of a non-profit organisation' - Extracurricular activities



icekiss90 3 / 4  
Nov 20, 2011   #1
Short Essay
In the space below, please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences, and explain what you learned from it (maximum 250 words).

When I was at school I was a member of the local school organisation. We were a small group of students with big dreams and aims. The membership helped me to develop my personal skills as leadership, organizational skills and communication skills. I found a lot of friends and followers and we are still keeping in touch.

Now I am a member of a non-profit organisation which main activity is related to participation in projects under the European Commission's program. I have the opportunity to take part in exchanges and training courses, which are held in different parts of Europe. Establishing new contacts and friendships with my peers from across Europe I am developing my intercultural dialogue and communication. Along with the beauties of Europe, we provide young people with the opportunity to get to know the natural and historic treasures of our country - the "Travel Bulgaria" team organizes monthly visits to various tourist destinations in Bulgaria. We have different projects and every one of us is seeking for an opportunity to make our reality a better place for the young people. The organization helped me to learn how important is to be able to work in a team as this is the easiest way to make my dreams and ideas reality. It helped me to connect to my community and make it a better place. I made new friends and contacts not only in my country but from whole over the world.

Please help me to make some improvements. I have to send it this night :(

denofthieves 2 / 6  
Nov 20, 2011   #2
I don't really understand the purpose of the first paragraph - the descriptions are very vague, and overall it feels unconnected with the next paragraph and the essay overall. Consider cutting it and using the extra words to go into more detail on the European Commission non-profit organisation.


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