scholarship essay on My mother inspires me.

When I began to search and think about an African-American that has inspired me, my mother is the first person that comes to mind. My mother has been the biggest inspiration in my life. Everything that I am today is a result of the influence and the life lessons that she has taught me. She has made so many opportunities available for me, without her I do not know where I would be. My mother is a very inspiring person; the reasons for this are countless. For example, when I decided to run for Student Council and I didn't think I could make it, but my mother was my biggest motivator. My mother has been through many hardships through her life and throughout it all she has become a strong, loving, and wise woman who still manages to smile. My mother is an independent woman who takes the responsibility of her family and she does a great job of guiding my sister and me. Because of her hardworking and promptness my mother would wake up early some morning just so she could earn a little extra money. The things I have learned and will continue to learn from my mother are endless; she has taught me all the important principles of life and for that I am thankful. Through all odds no matter what destruction life has thrown at my mother she never once admitted defeat and she has always presented herself as a strong black woman. My mother has always been there for me even when no one else was and she has sacrificed a lot to offer for me and my sister. So, I just make one silent promise to me and to my mother; that I will get my education and be the best I can be and when I reach a point where I feel like giving up I will just think about my mom and how she never gave up and. That will be the push that I will need to be that successful teacher and able to take care of my mom liked she took care of me.

Wow, I really liked your essay. It's simple, sweet, and successfully conveyed the point.
First off, try to used paragraph. Having an organized structure really helps the audience, even if the topic is simple.

I liked your points, but it would be more convincing if you could back up everything point about your mother with some examples. How did she motivate you? What did lessons did she taught you?

Try not to begin a sentence with "My mother" too much.

Try to emphasize and expand more on what your mother inspired you to be, and have specific examples of how you are going to keep your promise to her.


This is a run-on. Try splitting it up into multiple sentences.

Overall good essay, just try to avoid repetition and try to separate it into a certain organizational pattern via paragraphs.
Hope this helps :)

A few sentences seem a bit choppy, maybe elaborate a bit.

Overall, very nice pathos!

.... why do you speicifically mention about an African American? Did your prompt sought such person? If not, I think it is better you removed that part.

Everything that I amabout me today is a result of theher influence and the life lessons that she has taught me.


....You are repeating this fact too many times within short intervals