NTU Scholarship Essay - 'What My Wushu Coach Has Taught Me'

Describe, in less than 300 words, a short essay on a subject of personal importance to you. You may choose any topic. Examples include: an event which has influenced you or a family member/friend/person who had a significant influence on you.

The person who inspires me the most is my wushu coach. He has such a great impact on my life that he eventually changes the way i look upon life. I used to be a quitter who easily gave up on things that seemed futile. I thought i was just being realistic. But my wushu coach could show me that we could go beyond our own limit and turn impossibilities to possibilities.

My wushu coach is a 29-year-old guy who is originally from Xiamen, China. He is one of those Shaolin-trained athletes which are well known for their tough training. I have been being trained by this amazing man for nearly 8 years now. He is also the one who brings me to the regional and national champion title.

Right from the moment he started teaching, he used his Shaolin techniques that no ordinary coach had ever used. It definitely felt like hell. I used to keep wanting to withdraw myself from his strenuous training. But he was the one who kept pushing me to never stop learning and trying the new moves. Despite me being so afraid of him, i half-heartedly agreed to keep attending trainings.

As days gone by, now i feel that i am much stronger than i used to be. I am no longer a pessimist. I can feel the benefits from obeying the rules my coach has made. He ever told me once that athletes tend to have different point of view in facing obstacles. We will not easily quit like normal people will. Thus, i am sure that these qualities and backgrounds i have could support me to reach my dreams in NTU.

he has changed


easily give up

wushu coach showed me

I think you should be more creative in presenting your response. You could have begun your essay with one of your experiences you had with him. Read through this guide line which I found from a website, I hope it would be very helpful for you;

1. Remember what "influence" means.
Influence is defined as, "the action or process of producing effects on the actions, behavior, opinions, etc., of another..." The fact that you admire someone doesn't necessarily mean they've influenced you. There needs to be some action or change in your actions, behavior or opinions. That means you'll need to give specific examples of those things. Deciding to improve your behavior in school, visiting a particular college you previously refused to see, spending more time volunteering at the soup kitchen-if you did those things because of someone else, that's influence.

2. Don't choose this prompt to try to sound impressive.
The Common Application actually gives you five choices of essay prompts. A lot of students who choose this one write about a famous activist, politician, or someone else notable in an effort to sound impressive. Again, you have to remember what "influence" means. The admissions committee doesn't need to be convinced that Martin Luther King or Gandhi are admirable. Unless you can point to specific examples of how someone famous really has affected your actions, behavior or opinions, choose someone else (or chose a different topic).

3. Focus on the influence, not the person.
The exact wording of the question is, "Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence." The subtext there is that you shouldn't spend the entire essay describing why this person is so wonderful. Spend the essay talking about you-your behavior, actions and beliefs-and how those have changed or strengthened as a result of this person's influence.

4. Write an essay nobody else could write.
An essay about how your mother has inspired you to work hard is a nice essay. But it will read exactly like hundreds of other students' essays. Instead, be specific. Give details. Write an essay that no other student could write. And if it's about your mom, give enough specific examples so that nobody else's essay about their own mother will be quite like yours.

Hey ppucinos, I agree with the others. You should jot down more informational background about yourself, e.g. your accomplishment in wushu and how it is related to your future studies or your dedication level to wushu. Nevertheless, this essay is interesting :D All the best for your application. Please comment on my essay too, I am also an NTU scholarship applicant.