Hello,could you please review this essay , feel free to criticize and let me know about the mistakes or what can l improve.
Topic; Please provide a statement with limit of 300 words explaining why you are interested in attending a UWC school/college. Reflecting on UWC's mission and values, what you might contribute to the school/college and what you would hope to gain from the experience.
When I was fifteen years old ,I met my old friend. She was married After I know I think this is not correct and do not understand that she just this age why she must confront this situation?
I always think about this story that I met and actually I do not want to believe it, she should be better and deserve another chance that she can choose it by herself and for her good future no matter what the chance of education, meet the good thing including good home to feel comforted and finally l am sure that she can give special chance back to social as well. For me I think how can I help her? And can l be the someone who give that chance for her or maybe her baby because if the baby grow up they will be feel strange that they have a young mother and next how do they feel if another person blame both of children and their mother. For this reason l keep thinking that how can fix it even if l do not have anything so that is why in the future l want to be the embassy and to be apart to develop this situation and also bring good thing in my country and l want to encourage people around the world understand this problem that they should not cut them down in their life but we should help and give some good chance for those girl because we were born in the same world .
I am sure that if l can be the part of UWC college, l can be the one who make the UWC values and finally can give back the good opportunity for social as well.
Total; 292 words
Topic; Please provide a statement with limit of 300 words explaining why you are interested in attending a UWC school/college. Reflecting on UWC's mission and values, what you might contribute to the school/college and what you would hope to gain from the experience.
When I was fifteen years old ,I met my old friend. She was married After I know I think this is not correct and do not understand that she just this age why she must confront this situation?
I always think about this story that I met and actually I do not want to believe it, she should be better and deserve another chance that she can choose it by herself and for her good future no matter what the chance of education, meet the good thing including good home to feel comforted and finally l am sure that she can give special chance back to social as well. For me I think how can I help her? And can l be the someone who give that chance for her or maybe her baby because if the baby grow up they will be feel strange that they have a young mother and next how do they feel if another person blame both of children and their mother. For this reason l keep thinking that how can fix it even if l do not have anything so that is why in the future l want to be the embassy and to be apart to develop this situation and also bring good thing in my country and l want to encourage people around the world understand this problem that they should not cut them down in their life but we should help and give some good chance for those girl because we were born in the same world .
I am sure that if l can be the part of UWC college, l can be the one who make the UWC values and finally can give back the good opportunity for social as well.
Total; 292 words