Olympiads, Chemistry Club and tutorial classes - NTU Scholarship Essay on my achievements

Describe, in less than 300 words, an exceptional achievement that highlights your academic and CCA interests that would be of value to the NTU community.

Born in a science teacher family, I have been hooked in mathematics and science since I was a little kid. I was led to learn beyond what is taught in school and was trained in self-reliance, logical thinking, and problem solving. As time went on, I became more fascinated in science especially in Chemistry and enthusiastically did some research by myself. Consequently, I was appointed to join some competitions and Olympiads which built my self-esteem and independence.

I also took part in Chemistry Club in SMAK 1 PENABUR. Besides studying theories from the textbook, in Chemistry club I also learned Chemistry through experiments. It enlightened me on how Chemistry can be applied in real life. By doing experiments, I also gained self-discipline and made me dedicate myself to Chemistry and therefore I have a dream to be a researcher in Chemistry.

Beyond those mentioned above, I am also active in tutorial classes. I become a tutor for my fellow students and juniors in mathematics and science. As a tutor, it is a necessity that I excel in my studies and know deeper about the subject I am teaching. I also learn how to present teaching materials in an easy and interesting way for my students to understand.

I hope that NTU can fulfill my dream to be a researcher in Chemistry and let me join NTU program in Chemical and Biomolecular Engineering so that I can apply the knowledge for my country and humanity.

Thank You for your help and comments.

Is my essay powerful, convincing and unique enough?
Are there grammatical errors?

thank you

Joshua, I'd like to help out, as I read though your essay, I conclude, it's not strong enough and there's a few grammar and sentence construction issues to work on.

Here's what I thought;

- As time went on,( this phrase is not necessary ) I became more fascinated
- Consequently, I was appointed to join some( "some" denotes a weak point, refrain from using this word) competitions and
- Olympiads whichthat built my self-esteem and independence.

-Besides studying theories from the textbook,
- It enlightened mestrengthened my understanding on how Chemistry can be applied in real life.
- By doingWith experiments, I also gained self-discipline
- and made me dedicate myselfdedication to Chemistry,
- and therefore I have a dream to be a researcher in Chemistry.

- Beyond those mentioned above, I am also active in tutorial classes.In this connection, I beca me a tutor
- forto my fellow students

- I hope that NTU canto fulfill my dream to be a researcher in Chemistry
- and let me joinwith NTU program in Chemical and Biomolecular Engineering, I believe I will get the best assistance towards achieving my professional and academic goals.so that I can apply the knowledge for my country and humanity.

There you have it Joshua, quiet a lot of work to be considered there but nevertheless you have the idea, you just need to incorporate them in your writing.

Thank you very much for your help @justivy03

Joshua, I am of the opinion that your response did not really represent the requirements of the promot. You see, there is no real academic achievement in your essay. Some of these achievements could be your being a consistent honor student either in your overall classes or on Math and Sciences in particular. Maybe you came in first place during one of the competitions that you participated in that is related to your chosen MTU major. It has to be an event that shows or highlights the reason why you should be considered an achiever who will help to increase the quality of the students at NTU. There was no real sense of your abilities as a winner in this instance, which affected the content of your essay.

What I did see well represented in the essay are your interests in the field of Math and Science. However, the essay does not ask you concentrate on that topic alone. Without the achievement on your part, the essay only partially answers your essay. You need to reflect upon your academic and competitive achievements to date in order to respond properly to the first requirement. Choose the competition where you performed the best, discuss the competition and the outcome for you. If you placed as a winner, then tell the reviewer about it. If you did not, then tell the reviewer what you learned from that loss that made you feel like a winner anyway. That is still considered an exceptional achievement.

An even better response would be, if you performed some intricate experiment that caught the eye of your teacher or helped you realize that Chemistry is the field for you. Maybe you have an experiment result that you wish to evaluate further upon entering NTU? That kind of achievement is often received positively by the university admissions officers.

Thank you very much @vangiespen for your critics. Actually I don't really understand what CCA means.. Can you explain me what CCA is??

Hi Joshua, I can understand why you may not know the meaning of CCA. These universities often use acronyms that can be confusing and not obvious in meaning to most student applicants when in most instances, knowing what the acronym means can help you in better drafting your essay responses. Not to worry though, you can always ask for help and clarifications about it when you feel unsure of what to do. That is what we are here for :-)

Let me help you out by giving yout he complete meaning of the full acronym. NTU means Nanyang Technological University and CCA means Center for Contemporary Arts. So together, the acronym represents the Nanyang Technological University - Center for Contemporary Arts. NTU in itself is a national university that educates its students in the fields of engineering, business, science, humanities, arts, and social sciences. As such, I am not sure why you are applying to the CCA department if your interest is in the sciences and not the arts.

NTU- CCA concentrates mostly on the development of art infrastructures and the local and international art scene. From what I can understand, you are interested in some degree related to Chemistry right? So maybe you can explain to me how you see CCA in relation to chemistry? There seems to be a disconnection somewhere along the line. Even the research in the CCA department does not seem to relate to Chemistry since it concentrates mostly on researching archeological and current art concerns. .Not exactly the topic of research for a chemistry student. Or is there some sort of connection between Chemistry and Ancient Art that I am not familiar with?

@vangiespen at first I thought that CCA is Co-Curricular activities, so I wrote down my CCA about Tutorial Classes. So what do you say? CCA is Co-curricular activities in my high school or Center for Contemporary Arts?

* Have active participation in co-curricular activities (CCAs), holding leadership positions.
(from ntu.edu.sg/oad2/pdfs/scholarship_tnc.pdf)

Joshua, I've been trying for a number of hours to access the .pdf file using the link you sent but I really can't seem to get it to load. While your perception of the acronym may be correct, I am still not sure if the essay that you wrote is what the prompt is asking for because of the confusion about the meaning of CCA. As I analyze it, you could be right about the NTU Co Curricular activities topic because the university uses the same acronym for their cultural arts program and school activities / clubs / organizations listing. That said, it would be best to address the prompt in relation to CCA as a part of your after school activities. Another reason that I believe now that this will be the right discussion is because you are applying for a scholarship, which I did not know before. So, since this is a scholarship essay, it stands to reason that the reference to CCA will be more aligned with academic rather than art achievements.

While I advice you to keep the reference to tutoring other students, you still need to find that one impressive academic achievement that you can present to the reviewer. Just present one of each accomplishment in order to keep his focus and attention on the prompt requirements. So you have the CCA activity done, which of your academic accomplishments do you think you can present?

Try to pick an academic activity that shows off your ability to accomplish tasks impressively. It could be something as simple as presenting a unique and highly graded academic paper, or even joining a Math and Science Olympiad where in you or your team won a podium slot (1st, 2nd, or 3rd place). Just make sure that it creates an unforgettable impression of yourself as a student or team member.

Hello Joshua, let me try to give some recommendations on your passage
if you want to write the academic writing, you need to lessen the using of I. it is ok if you want to give your opinion, but it is weak statement.


thanks, hope it can helps

@vangiespen Thank you for your help. I will start rewrite my essay. Thanks
@irfan727 thank you for the corrections.