Hello everyone! I am currently applying for a local university scholarship and the essay theme is based on an event in my life has changed myself as a person.
I have drafted out a true personal story below. Unfortunately, I am not good with essays and I would like to gather all constructive feedbacks/criticisms! Thank you so much for your help!
Just like any other 12 year olds, my happy life consisted of sweet treats and even sweeter thoughts, an endless array of bite-sized banality. All that changed on November 17th that year. I remember the setting with such clarify and precision that it seems somehow unreal; a figment of my overactive imagination.
It was one of those ordinary nights, my dad was back at home from work and the family was having dinner in the dining room. All of a sudden, he collapsed onto the ground. His hands grasped helplessly at his diaphragm and his face turned red as he squirmed in excruciating pain. We rushed him to the hospital immediately.
"Colorectal cancer...?" I could not comprehend what was being told. How could this be happening? Despite advancing into his 50s, the disease seemed impossible. Being the sole breadwinner, he slogged long hours day-in and day-out just to make ends meet. Yet, never once did he reveal a trace of exhaustion. In my eyes, he is a strong, courageous and indestructible pillar of support. The ineradicable marvel superhero has now fallen.
I read all I could find online, I was utterly terrified. What would our family do without him? He was the stronghold that held our family together. I had a premonition that my mom would fall apart, that I would have to hold everything together if he left our lives because there was nobody else. I didn't know how to, but I knew that I had to.
Soon enough, it became a routine to spend late nights doing homework at the hospital, as if it was my second home. Many times I wanted to stop schooling just so that I didn't have to juggle between my academics and taking care of my parents. However, my father insisted that I stayed in school. Despite his debilitating illness, his infectious love for learning motivated me to keep going. Also, being the only child, the least I could do was to make him proud by excelling in school.
After countless check-ups, numerous MRIs and 3 major operations, my father emerged victorious from the gruesome battle that put our family through hell. Now, 7 years later, as I look back at the past, I am proud of how much I have grown as a person. As traumatic of an experience as it was, I learnt invaluable life lessons from this experience. Cancer, illness and death were things I never thought would affect me. It was the first time I experienced such harsh reality. It changed my perspective on life and taught me to be strong from a young age. As fragile as human lives are, I realized that human beings have so much capacity and potential. We are so small, but we can do so much. I began to live life as it was my last, putting the best version of myself forward in everything I do. Most importantly, I truly realized the importance of a family, the anchor during rough waters.
Word count - 499 words
Limit (500 words)
I have drafted out a true personal story below. Unfortunately, I am not good with essays and I would like to gather all constructive feedbacks/criticisms! Thank you so much for your help!
Just like any other 12 year olds, my happy life consisted of sweet treats and even sweeter thoughts, an endless array of bite-sized banality. All that changed on November 17th that year. I remember the setting with such clarify and precision that it seems somehow unreal; a figment of my overactive imagination.
It was one of those ordinary nights, my dad was back at home from work and the family was having dinner in the dining room. All of a sudden, he collapsed onto the ground. His hands grasped helplessly at his diaphragm and his face turned red as he squirmed in excruciating pain. We rushed him to the hospital immediately.
"Colorectal cancer...?" I could not comprehend what was being told. How could this be happening? Despite advancing into his 50s, the disease seemed impossible. Being the sole breadwinner, he slogged long hours day-in and day-out just to make ends meet. Yet, never once did he reveal a trace of exhaustion. In my eyes, he is a strong, courageous and indestructible pillar of support. The ineradicable marvel superhero has now fallen.
I read all I could find online, I was utterly terrified. What would our family do without him? He was the stronghold that held our family together. I had a premonition that my mom would fall apart, that I would have to hold everything together if he left our lives because there was nobody else. I didn't know how to, but I knew that I had to.
Soon enough, it became a routine to spend late nights doing homework at the hospital, as if it was my second home. Many times I wanted to stop schooling just so that I didn't have to juggle between my academics and taking care of my parents. However, my father insisted that I stayed in school. Despite his debilitating illness, his infectious love for learning motivated me to keep going. Also, being the only child, the least I could do was to make him proud by excelling in school.
After countless check-ups, numerous MRIs and 3 major operations, my father emerged victorious from the gruesome battle that put our family through hell. Now, 7 years later, as I look back at the past, I am proud of how much I have grown as a person. As traumatic of an experience as it was, I learnt invaluable life lessons from this experience. Cancer, illness and death were things I never thought would affect me. It was the first time I experienced such harsh reality. It changed my perspective on life and taught me to be strong from a young age. As fragile as human lives are, I realized that human beings have so much capacity and potential. We are so small, but we can do so much. I began to live life as it was my last, putting the best version of myself forward in everything I do. Most importantly, I truly realized the importance of a family, the anchor during rough waters.
Word count - 499 words
Limit (500 words)