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I am open-minded/ Difficulty in Art & Science - GATS Scholarship



lexilex1995 6 / 17  
Jan 6, 2013   #1
I consider myself to be an open-minded person; therefore, I believe it is alright for all humans beings to be accustomed to a small deficiency. There is always a lesson to be learnt from that weakness we all possess. The subjects that I have difficulty in are art and science. Many kids grow up and know what areas they are destined to succeed or have problems in. As much as I admire art and science, I knew at a young age that I would have difficulties with these subjects. I could not draw line art or remember the elements on the periodic table as well as my classmates did. I thought it was challenging. However, I joined the math and science club to engage my enthusiasm, but after a while I became dissatisfied. I had no interest in science because I could not learn the concept. I tried studying at home, but that made learning the subject more troublesome. I genuinely would love to find out how the big bang really started and why everything has to go through evolution but art has grasp my attention at the moment. In school, I took an art class and later on joined the art club. I learnt how to draw continuous line art and abstract art. Eventually I advanced to doing ceramic and clay figurines in art class. Honestly, I still struggle with drawing whats on my mind before actually making my creation. When I need help deciding what to make, I ask my teacher for help instantly, for example, making a life size picture of Lil' Wayne into a doll size clay masterpiece. I believe with more effort, I will be able to learn from my difficulties in art. Overall, I feel that my art skills are better than it was before. My teacher, Mr.Ward, compliments me for the effort I show each time I begin a drawing.

fsolano94 16 / 28  
Jan 6, 2013   #2
(1) There is always a lesson to be learnt from that weakness we all possess.

There is always a lesson to be learned from our weaknesses.

(2) Overall, I feel that my art skills are better than it was before. My teacher, Mr.Ward, compliments me for the effort I show each time I begin a drawing.

are better that they were before....

Is there a prompt? If so you should post it. Good Luck!!!!
OP lexilex1995 6 / 17  
Jan 6, 2013   #3
Thank you very much.. I kept rereading and tried to find something that was wrong and that was the problem thank you. And it's a prompt to the gate scholarship
OP lexilex1995 6 / 17  
Jan 6, 2013   #4
would it be alright if i use idealist? i wanted to use that at first but ididn't know if i should
Didgeridoo - / 289  
Jan 6, 2013   #5
You have a good writing style, but here's what's missing from your essay:

1. Description. You say that you struggled with these subjects, but what did that look like? Were you getting bad grades in your classes? Failing tests? Try putting some dialogue in here, or describe what an Art or Science class was like for you.

2. Details. What was the "young age" where you realized that art and science were hard? What study methods did you use at home, and why didn't they work? When did you join the Math and Science club? What was that club like? Do you like Math? Why? Did you give up on science and move to art, or are you still working to learn more about both subjects? What are continuous line art and abstract art? How long did it take you to move to figurines?

3. Purpose. What made you keep studying science and art if you found them difficult? What did you learn through your experience?
tinkr1 3 / 6  
Jan 6, 2013   #6
Definitely change the word "learnt" to learned or learn. "Learnt" is not a word. There are also some sentences I would consider revising.

I could not draw line art or remember the elements on the periodic table as well as my classmates did. I thought it was challenging.

Try to combine this sentence, maybe by saying: I found it more challenging than my classmates to draw line art and remember the elements on the periodic table.


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