My Passion about the concept of sustainability and my vision of achieving development

Hello, Please help me evaluate this essay.
Thank you in advance

Study in UK essay .. Chevening

My Passion about the concept of sustainability and my vision of achieving development focused on construction field were my compass to choose these three courses.

My first choice is the University of Bath (Environmental Design), University of Bath has been selected as the best university of architecture earlier in 2017. My decision to study this course stems from my desire to resolve the challenges which face the technical integration of sustainability and the construction process together. I firmly believe that this course will provide me with the needed theories about sustainable architecture, which will help to achieve my vision. More, I am interested in living in the beautiful, rural city of Bath, where historical and modern buildings harmoniously exist.

My second choice course is Sustainable Architecture at University of Huddersfield which has been dignified as a lofty university by the Teaching Excellence Framework (TEF). It would be great to study the modules of Advanced Construction and Building Analysis and BIM (Building Information Modeling). These courses will benefit me in reaching my goal of decreasing the inconsistency between the design and the construction. Moreover, they will teach me to consolidate theoretical and practical sustainable skills. The opportunity to study these courses will ease my future career plan of being a specialist in applying sustainability to the construction process.

My third choice is to study Sustainable Engineering (Architecture and Ecology) course at the University of Strathclyde which has been nominated as a first-rate university for sustainability by the Engineering Education for Sustainable Development. The chance to study at this university will help me to deeply understand the core of sustainability and the importance of projects funding and management. Consequently, I will be an excellent project manager who can enforce a market transformation.

All of the courses mentioned above are relevant to my academic and professional architectural experience. My graduation project which was within the top ten projects on the national level, introduced sustainability as an important concept. Further, I have been fortunate enough to be a part of a team that participated in two competitions about sustainability and Eco house at Ain Shams University and Arab Academy for Science and Technology. Also, recently, I have attended two workshops; one is about building performance simulation and the other is about how building modelling information supports the sustainable design and construction.

Thus, a master degree from a UK university will be extremely beneficial to my future career plans and visions.

Hello Hedeer,

Your essay reveals that you did an extensive research on your choice universities. However, I observed few grammatical errors:

Furthermore, I have been was fortunate enough to be a part of a team ...

Also, Recently, I have attended two workshops; one is was about building ... the other is about how ...

I believe effecting these correction could save you some useful space

Hadeer, you should not include references to the ranking of the universities you have chosen, based upon publicly known information. The Chevening reviewer already knows about these universities and their qualifications. So those are irrelevant information in the essay. Your reasons for choosing the universities and how it will affect your future career plans have solid presentations. However, your platform regarding your academic and professional background is not really properly threshed out. You have to create an effective opening statement for starters. Pick either your academic or professional skills for that presentation. Personally, I would open with the professional foundation of your career. That ties in directly with your future plans per course. I would then close with the academic aspect, informing the reader of my accomplishments as a student in order to prove that I have the educational foundation and background to complete any of the courses I have chosen at the three universities.

@inok26
Thank you for the correction

@Holt
thank you for raising those concerns, i mentioned the ranking which is relevant to my field and the courses i have been selected not a general ranking to show why i would have chosen a specific universities from all highly ranked university, Do you think it's still irrelevant information ?

@Holt
I tried to improve it ..

My Passion about the concept of sustainability and my vision of achieving development focused on construction field alignment with my professional and academic experience were my compass to choose these three courses.

I have been combining between the practical and academic experience for two years, I work as an architect at XXX (Architecture consultant group) where I can impart sustainable knowledge in a professional practice. Work-based learning most clearly provides me with the opportunity to learn by doing. Also, my job as a lecturer at the Department of Architecture, Faculty of Fine Arts, aids me update my knowledge about sustainability which can be challenged, reinterpreted and developed.

My first choice is XX (Environmental Design). University of XX was selected as the best university of architecture earlier in 2017 as known. My decision to do this course stems from my desire to resolve the challenges which face the technical integration of sustainability and the construction process together. I strongly believe that this course will provide me with the needed sustainable architecture theories, which will help to achieve my vision. Moreover, I am interested in living in the beautiful, rural city of Bath, where historical and modern buildings harmoniously exist.

My second choice XXX (Sustainable Architecture). It would be great to study the modules of Advanced Construction and Building Analysis and BIM (Building Information Modeling). These courses will benefit me in reaching my goal of decreasing the inconsistency between the design and the construction. Moreover, they will teach me to consolida