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What do you plan to do after completing your master's degree in Sweden?


Streetwalker 9 / 39 14  
Jan 10, 2017   #1
Describe future plan in 220 characters including spaces.

Instruction: What do you plan to do after completing your master's degree in Sweden?

I try my best to breakdown the question to this equation Plan = career position + action to be carried (learning from Holt's suggestion).

This is my first draft, I manage to fit it precisely into 220 characters.

I really appreciated any suggestions to improve my essay. Thanks a lot in advance.

career, project, researches



Pursuing career as Lecturer and Management Consultant, leading projects for system improvement, team up with other professionals to conduct researches and workshops to educate managers about varied management strategies.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,864 4788  
Jan 11, 2017   #2
Massal, you got the formula almost correct. The reference in the essay needs to start with the word "I" because you are the person who is involved in the actions to be undertaken after graduation. So the presentation should instead look like this:

I will become a lecturer and Management consultant involved in system improvement, research, and workshops meant to educate managers and develop cutting edge management strategies for future use in business management.

This is also 220 characters and covers the formula in a more direct manner that the reviewer will appreciate. Remember, you have to present the information in a direct and interesting manner at all times. Your work was good but could not present the information in a brisk and interesting manner. This is a writing style that you should develop over time as a student.
OP Streetwalker 9 / 39 14  
Jan 11, 2017   #3
@Holt
Thank you very much Mary. I am really grateful to received valuable comments for my essay.
I will use your version for submit my essay.

Indeed I think I can't arrange sentences to convey what I meant in a good structure. I also want to learn simple verbs that can be use as conjunctions between several contexts. I have to practice more and more :D


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