'proven myself in the past' - 300 Word Scholarship Demonstrating Financial Need

Hello, I have a draft for a scholarship essay I was requested to make. All the good people out here would you please check my draft and say how is it along with some suggestions?? My English is pretty bad since English is not my mother tongue. I would be so happy to hear any suggestions.

I was ordered to write 'a 300 word essay demonstrating your financial need ' in my email.

P.S: I desperately need to get this scholarship because of financial reasons, which I am sure some of you understand. So please don't hesitate to criticize me on how could I improve this essay. I have a deadline approaching so I would be extremely glad for a quick response!

Thanking in advance, and here is the essay-

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My decision after the end of my high school life to enroll in an American University to graduate was a tough one. But I had the full support of my family, my parents being prepared to spend most of their savings for the sake of my study. Getting the Academic Excellence Scholarship from XXX University might have been one of the happiest moments in my life. Being an international student from a still developing country like Nepal even the costs of accommodation and food seems pretty high. I believe that this scholarship could enable me to spend a lot of hour studying rather than doing some on campus job to cover up the accommodation costs incurred, to help my family economically.

I have proven myself in the past and I am ready to do that now. I come from a middle class family. My father works as a Health worker and my mother works as a teacher to cover up our monthly expenses. We live in a semi-urban setting with a pretty normal life. My father is a typical routine worker with his job at 10 to 5. He works very hard, although he does not like to show it. I remember my dad staying up to help me solve math problems with me when I was a kid till late night. His interest in public health and his mathematical genius both inspired my interest in science, particularly in engineering. I caught on to his values of hard work, perseverance, and academic honesty, deepening my respect for him both as my father as well as a professional. Following my dad's example, for me, working hard has been a way of life, not a compulsion. And working hard has made me recognized on my school these previous years. I, getting different scholarships from my school has enabled our family to maintain the economic balance that now is. I sincerely wish I am eligible for this scholarship as this could enable me to have more time to study harder, and prove myself as the most hardworking international student of esteemed XXX University.

My decision after the end of my high school lifeWord choice? Maybe high school career? to enroll in an American University to graduate was a tough one. But I had the full support of my family, my parents being prepared to spend most of their savings for the sake of my study. Awkward sentence structure. How about "However, I had the full support of my family; my parents were prepared to spend most of their life savings at the expense of my education. Getting the Academic Excellence Scholarship from XXX University might have been one of the happiest moments in my life. - How about "was a thrilling experience for me" By saying might, it seems kind of unsure or uncertain. Speak with conviction! :) Being an international student from a still developing country like Nepal, sometimes I even find the costs of accommodation and food seems pretty high. I believe that this scholarship could enable me to spend a lot of hour studying rather than doing some on campus job to cover up the accommodation costs incurred, to help my family economicallyAwkward sentence structure, try "spend my time studying rather than working a part time job to cover the cost of my education and relieve my family of the responsibility .

I have proven myself in the past How? This would be a nice time to drop an achievement or award you've received in. and I am ready to do that now. I come from a middle class family. My father works as a h ealth worker and my mother works as a teacher to cover up our monthly expenses. We live in a semi-urban setting with a pretty normal Be more specific than "normal". "Normal" in Nepal may not be "normal" in America. :) life. My father is a typical routine worker with his joband works from 10 to 5. He works very hard, although he does not like to show it. I remember my dad staying up to help me solve math problems with me when I was a kid tillUNTIL late night. His interest in public health and his mathematical genius both inspired my interest in science, particularly in engineering. I caught on to his values of hard work, perseverance, and academic honesty, deepening my respect for him both as my father as well as a professional. Following my dad's example, for me, working hard has been a way of life, not a compulsionnot something forced . AndW orking hard has made me recognizedon my school these previous years. I, getting different scholarships from my school has enabled our family to maintain the economic balance that now is.I don't understand what you're trying to say in that sentence, maybe you could rewrite it? I sincerely wish I am eligible for this scholarship as this could enable me to have more time to study harder, and prove myself as themosta hardworking international student of esteemed XXX University.

You can this even stronger.... It is your opening statement and you are going to convince them that you really deserve this scholarship. Try and take the selection panel on an emotional ride :) ;

This is just a suggestion of mine... You need to further polish it;
I always dreamed of furthering my studies in an American University. However, this is always a tough decision for someone who belongs to middle class in a developing country. Knowing my passion and desire for continuing my highest studies, my parents came forward to support me with their savings of entire lifetime.

I feel it's better if you give more reasons for why you are so passionate about studying further (specify your field and your dream career) and also why you want to study in America... the panel would be interested to know these things. What you have written mostly talk about your financial difficulties, but in my opinion, it should include statements to convince the panel that you are deserving case to study at their uni. For that you need to talk about your credentials, outstanding performances, desires, passions, constraints in your home country etc.

:)