Prompt: We are interested in learning more about you and the context in which you have grown up, formed your aspirations and accomplished your academic successes. Please describe the factors and challenges that have most shaped your personal life and aspirations. How have these factors caused you to grow?
When you look closely at a perfectly polished, silkily- smooth cheery wood hand rail, you can see flecks of gold dancing. The chandelier, the powerful mass of shattered glass which weighs so prizedly on the plaster ceiling, sprinkles timid candlelight throughout the cavernous Paris Opera House. Rich cranberry drapes absorb the commotion of the outside world. They radiate with fiery energy, drawing the chemistry of the room inward. The stage is a blur of frantic people, sets, and props. Whirring and zipping so that they can find their places before La Carlotta can burn the stage with her piercing glare of disapproval.
A series of gentle thuds- car doors being slammed- alert my ear and I feel like I am resurfacing after being underwater. In reality, my eight-year-old self is sitting cross-legged in my childhood closet, reading with a flashlight while the clothes that are nice enough to hang up brush my blonde head. I listen to three resounding knocks on the front door and hear my parents whispering urgently before I plunge back into the realm of glamorous prima donnas.
La Carlotta arrives on set and everyone prepares to begin. Carlotta's voice blasts through the hall, much akin to the way a door shrieks on a rusty hinge.
BOOM, BOOM, BOOM. The knocks come so hard they arouse me from my literary hypnosis. I hear my infant brother start to cry in the next room. "THIS IS THE POLICE. OPE-"
Before he can finish, I hear the front door squeak a bit as it is swung open. I crack the door of the closet open just a sliver and am assaulted by blue and red lights flashing into my bedroom window. I immediately seal myself back up in my hideout, plug my ears, and focus on the words on the page. I settle back into the story, and can nearly see the sparkle in Christine's eye as the Vicomt turns his attention to her. As I read on, small, wet dots appear on the pages sporadically, but I pay them no attention. Periodically, a crash or a powerful voice coming from elsewhere in the house threatens to pluck me up from out of my happy trip to the Opera, but I just read on, until the whole house goes quiet.
Speed ahead nine years and my world is dramatically different. These days, my dad's heroin addiction hardly affects my daily life at all. However, when I was young, my reality tended to be scary and confusing, so I sought solace in books. I was curious about how life could be. Christine Daae was only one of many characters who helped me through tribulation, and even today, some of my closest friends live in the boundary between the front and back cover.
I believe that I am the person I am today because I developed a habit of reading. I exposed myself to so many different world views that I developed an unwavering determination to give myself a better life than I had currently been living. With the help of the strength of my grandparents and my mom's bravery, I grew to become someone who can respond to adversity; someone who truly loves to learn.
I love all the descriptions in the beginning. I love how you build up the suspense in your essay. However, I would elaborate more on you reading books and your dad's heroine addiction and how they have impacted your life in a more deeper sense.
Wow, that is a truly well written piece. I love your creativity and word choice. It sure does pack a punch. (I think it is fine how it is, no need to elaborate at the end)
Just one suggestion: I felt it could get a little wordy in beginning, and it is interrupting the flow. You can keep the same type of intense imagery, just present it in a more fluid manner.
Great Job!
