Reasons and motivations to study in Korea (education studies)

a big growth of biotechnology

Since I was very young, I always had the desire to learn about all the living things with whom we coexist furthermore, when my knowledge and myself began to mature along with learning about Microbiology, I began to reproduce the idea that we can develop an indirect relationship with many of these living things in which we get something useful in exchange of providing something useful to the other side.

My main motivation to apply to this program is learning the culture and ideology of Fermentation and Food Biotechnology in Korea since I do believe the concepts and objectives of this subjects are in some way different with the ones we have here, at Mexico. This gets related with an objective I have the intention to obtain with the help of this scholarship, which is to unify and make a connection with the Korean and Mexican principles of Biotechnology so we can obtain continuous improvement of processes used at different industries in Korea. Another motivation for me is to get a better quality of life since in Mexico, the amount of job opportunities available for a Biotechnology Engineer are quite low besides that, the salary offered is not enough for the daily expenses needed at this day.

I studied a major of Biotechnology Engineer and a Quality Systems specialty subsequently, the research experience I have been at CIATEJ where I worked in two projects, the first one was the analysis of the concentration of biosurfactants extracting it from halophile bacteria, the activities I made were growth promotion of this species in a flask inside a shaker as well as conservation of new colonies for future use after that I took samples of the biomass in various tubes so following that remove the liquid phase via centrifugation so that hexane could be added and after a few seconds of shaking the biosurfactants could be present, the samples where then given to another researcher for a concentration analysis, the purpose of this project was to see if these bacteria could be used for large scale production of biosurfactant and get biodegradable cleaning products making a solution to the reduction of high pollution due to the usage of this common product. The second project consisted in the extraction and drying (via sprayed drying) of the juice coming from Agave waste used for mezcal production, the powder was reconstituted and filtered for the analysis of concentration of fructans via HPLC, the objective of this project was to take advantage of this waste providing good amounts of fructans that could help in the digestion for many people specially in obesity on kids where this is a significant problem in Mexico. The first professional experience I had was at Crickex in which this company objective was the production of powder made from crickets to provide a cheaper and more sustainable source of protein where my responsibilities were to carry out environmental and nutrition tests to crickets so that we could get bigger crickets and in consequence more amount of powder as well as a higher nutrition value. My most recent professional experience was a Pisa, a very important pharmaceutic company in Latin America, I was in the quality control laboratory for cephalosporin and penicillin medicine and my activities there consisted in the analysis of environmental microbiology control applied to the production lines as well as in the controlled area when I had to make sterility tests using the filtration method with the help of a Steritest System for raw materials and final products of both types of medicine besides that, I made the endotoxin test via turbidimetric method of both medicine types.

The reasons I have to study in Korea are because Biotechnology in the country is getting a lot of support and in consequence a big growth too. The technology advancements that Korea has I feel that this country can bring a solution to many global problems we all have. Lastly, I began learning Korean as a hobby but with time, by meeting Korean people as well as learning about the culture, I got in love with the country and got me wanting to learn a lot more of Korea and I believe the best way for this is living there.

This is a solid representation of the prompt discussion instructions. You have covered all of the bases in terms of representing the importance of your masters studies in Korea. However, the essay suffers in terms of your presentation of thoughts. You definitely know what you want to say, the problem is how you said it. The essay is composed of confusing discussions in the sense that you lack the use of punctuation marks. The coherence of your discussion goes missing when the sentences become too long for the reader. Your combined thought presentations make it difficult to follow the essay in terms of content.

So why did I say the essay is strong just the same? It is strong because the discussion points that can convince the reviewer that you are a good candidate for this program is right there. It is evident in the writing. All you have to do is edit the paper for cohesiveness and coherence. Create clearer sentence and paragraph representations to help the reviewer better understand your qualifications for the scholarship. Separate the ideas in every paragraph, in every sentence. Clarity is better than length in the overall consideration of sentence and paragraph content.