A RURAL WOMAN SCIENTIST: international scholarship

Could you check my motivation letter to correct my mistakes, Please?

Growing up in a developing country, especially a small, rural, village in the south of Egypt, as society there does not believe in the importance of woman learning and deny her rights in the education. On the other hand, the male is the only dominating, educated, successful person. Nevertheless, my parents are well educated, mind-opening individuals, they are always looking forward to break the oppressive traditions, rules. As a result of their ambitions, they were able to plant the desire for learning in me early, ignoring being blamed by our relatives, neighbors, rustic community in our village. Now, why have I to learn and where?

My parents highly encouraging me to do the best, saying to me "Obstacles must not stop or disturb you, they must push you toward success" as my father used to drive me to the school, after my school day finishes, he pick up me to go home, while we are on our way to home, he always asking me what I did and what I fulfilled at school? Rewarding me for each successful work I did. On the other hand my mother enthusiastic to attend every monthly parent meeting holding in my school, to follow up my educational level. Consequently, I was the top of my class, eager to learn what is new.

It was the first term of the last year of the primary school, when our science teacher asked us to choose between two subjects as a student's activity. The first subject was to collect some insects from the surrounding environment and writing a simple comment for each one, while the second one was to prepare an album for the rare animals or plants besides writing a comment for them as we were divided into groups. Which topic should my group choose? Both of these subject is interesting, it was my favorite hoppy to play with insects as they are my toys! Yes I used to toy with insects as I was excited about this successful organisms as well as my tendency to make a nice album. My suggestion to mix between them was great since we collected some insects and wrote a comment for each one besides preparing a beautiful album for those insects in their natural environment. My group members elected me as the group leader as they were trusting on me. For our unique work, my group won the competition and got the medal of the creation. This was my starting point in love of insects, as I started to meditate in their life; how do they live, why are some of them brightly colored while others not? which of them are beneficial and which are harmful? How are they affected and associated with their environment?

By joining to the Faculty of science at Qena, my childhood dream has grown up and became more vivid and deeply, since, I studied Chemistry, I love chemical laboratories, tools such as tubes, as well as my fancy with Entomology and Molecular Biology. Successfully, Two years ago, I got the Bachelor degree in Entomology with a grade of very good with honor, and was the first of my colleagues. Then, I employed as a demonstrator in Zoology and Entomology Department, in my faculty. I am so lucky make my hoppy my job! But I still have one dream that I did not achieve yet, actually, it is my life dream, what is it? It is to be a good researcher in one of the most interesting field that explains and explores the biology of insects and their ecology using chemical and molecular techniques! That is exactly what I want.

Where should I go to achieve my goals? Europe is a significantly the place that I wish to visit since my childhood. So, I think the best place is "the name of the institute", as studying in such specialist, global school with the required tools that I lack in my country, It would be a great chance for me to learn from an award-winning team of professional professors and academic staff, who will not only help me to improve my scientific research skills, but would also learn me more about new places, new culture. Thanks to this I will be able to change my society culture by introducing an ideal model of a rural woman scientist, hoping to contribute in women learning.

May be one day the women of my village built the first statue of a RURAL WOMAN SCIENTIST!

It is enough for me to have the honor of being graduated from RESEARCH ISTITUTE.

Growing up in a developing country, especially a small rural village in the south of Egypt, as society there does not believe in the importance of woman learning and deny her rights in the education.

This doesn't make sense.
On the other hand,

What's your first point?
the male is the only dominating, educated, successful person. Nevertheless, both my parents are well educated, open minded(Mind opening sounds like your parents are splitting peoples heads open) individuals. They are always looking forward to break oppressive traditions and rules. As a result of their ambitions, they were able to plant the desire for learning in me early on,

ignoring being blamed by our relatives, neighbors, rustic community in our village. Now, why have I to learn and where?
What? Needs major revision. Being blamed for doing what? Last sentence doesn't make sense either.

Please I need feedback about my essay to be able to apply as the deadline approaches

@Cruud

Thank you very much for your corrections, I'll add changes and I'll wait for your feedback

Growing up in a developing country, especially a small, rural, village in the south of Egypt, is difficult for a girl because the society there does not believe in the importance of woman's learning and denies us the right to education. ...

Nevertheless, my parents are well educated, open-minded individuals. They are always looking forward to breaking the oppressive traditions and rules. ------ excellent!! They are great!! This is called being nonconformists.

Add a comma:
My parents highly encouraging me to do the best, saying to me, " Obstacles must not stop or disturb you, they must push you toward success." As my father used to drive me to the school, after my school day finishes finished, he would pick up me to go home, and while we were on our way to home, he always asking asked me what I did and what I learned at school. He rewarded me for each successful assignment I completed. On the other hand...

I am so lucky to be hoppy happy with my job! But I still have one dream that I did not achieve yet, and actually, it is my life dream. What is it? It is to be a ...

Yes, I think you'll make a great female rural scientist! Nice job :-)

Thank you very much.
Will my essay imppress the judges?
I will make some changes and waite for your feedback.

In my essay I should specify a topic and chhose a certain professor for this reason I wrote another introduction it is:

It was the evening when a giant and dark black insect was on my bed, I have never seen before.
I did nothing, just was observing its movement and actions, a black and big body with a long legs.
Suddenly, it moved towards me, INSECT, I shouted, my father came and took it away. This was exactly my start point in love of insects.

Yes, it is great to have a memorable theme and to have a particular prof you want to study with.

This was exactly the exact moment when my love of insects was born.

I think your story will impress the judges. People are always impressed when someone overcomes difficult circumstances to achieve personal goals.

I looked at the essay again, and now I think you should remove this sentence and replace it with a sentence that tells exactly what you want to do or exactly why you want to pursue this dream.

Hi guys,
I did some changes on my motivation essay and I'll appreciate your feedback.

"Obstacles must not disturb or stop you, they occur to push you toward success" my mother always says this to me; I carefully follow her advices. I grew up in a small rural village in the south of Egypt, as society there is a typically male one and does not believe in the importance of education for women and denies their rights and opportunities for learning. Nevertheless; my parents are well educated, open-minded individuals; they are nonconformists as they are always seeking to break the oppressive traditions and rules. As a result of their ambitions, they were able to plant the desire for learning in me early in my life, ignoring the disapproval from our relatives and neighbors, in our rustic village community. This rural environment was to a certain extent my engine toward success instead of being a rocky impediment as it is for other girls, and I am the first female who learned and entered college.

It was a great chance for me when I was in the last year of primary school. As our science teacher divided us into groups and asked us to choose between two subjects as a student's activity. The first subject was to collect some insects from the surrounding environment and write a simple comment for each one, while the second one was to prepare a photo album for rare animals or plants and write a comment for them as well. I suggested to combine the topics as we collected some insects and wrote a comment for each one, and also prepared a beautiful photo album for those insects in their natural environment. For my original suggestion my team members elected me as the group leader as they trusted me. For our unique work, my group won the competition and got the medal of the creation.

Actually, my interest of insects had started at age four, as I used to practice my favorite hobby; it was to dissect insects; play with them as if they were my toys! Anywhere I go, I start to look for them. I was excited about these organisms and contemplate how they are widely spread? Where do they live? Why are some of them brightly colored while others not? Which of them are beneficial and which are harmful and what are their benefits? How are they affected and associated with their environment?

This childhood interest in insect inspired me to pursue higher education in the field of my favorite hobby. By enrolling the College of Science at XXX, Egypt, many questions about insects were answered and my childhood dream has grown up and became more vivid and deeply, since, I studied chemistry, I love chemical laboratories and tools such as tubes and doing chemical experiments, as well as my fancy with Entomology and Molecular Biology. Successfully, I completed the Bachelor of Science Degree in 2008 in Entomology at university with very good grades with honor, and I was the top student of my colleagues. Then, I was employed as a demonstrator in the Zoology and Entomology Department, at my college. I am so lucky to continue my hobby as my job! But I still have one dream that I did not achieve yet. Actually; it is my life dream, what is it? It is to be a great researcher in one of the most interesting fields that explains and explores the biology of insects and their ecology using chemical and molecular techniques! That is exactly what I want.

Europe is significantly the place that I wish to visit since my childhood. I think the best place is XXXXX, as studying in such specialized and global school with the required tools and techniques that I lack in my country. It would be a great chance for me to work in the first project" XXXXXXX" or the seventh project"XXXXXX" or the eighth project" XXXXXXXr" because working in one of this project will enhance my knowledge in the field which I am so interested in, as I will learn from an award-winning team of highly trained professors and academic staff, who will not only help me to improve my scientific research skills, but would also teach me more about new places and new culture. After having successful training and career, I intend to return to my country to inspire change my society culture by introducing an ideal model of a rural woman scientist who graduated from XXXXXXX. Also I hope to inspire of upcoming generations who are surrounded by a negative environment, just like mine, hoping to contribute in female's education.

No one know, may be in one day my small village turns into a famous and big city thanks to the first statue of A RURAL FEMALE SCIENTEST which will have been built for me by the females of my village.

Thank you very much for your kind help and great encouragment.
I did changes and need your wise opinion