Said Foundation - notable achievement

Hello everyone,

I am applying to Said Foundation and it requires this question article:

Please provide details of your most notable achievement which you are most proud of

Your achievement can be from any of the work or voluntary experience.

My article:

I was working as an IT Engineer in the InfoTech company that works with the government sector.
In 2019, the company contracted with the Economic Ministry to develop the Data Center in coordination with the executive manager of InfoTech that had to travel for business for a month.

The ministry didn't find who dealt with it, and it almost broke the contract.
The contract contained a condition stating the Data Center must be equipped with and installed electronic and network devices during fifteen days from signing the deal to be ready to work.

As the manager had traveled, I contacted it through Email to explain the problem then he assigned me to follow this deal myself.
I understood the conditions one by one deeply and, then I negotiated with the ministry to expand the delivered period for extra five days to become twenty days.

I was searching devices types online to get the better qualities and the cheapest from the markets.
I have started contacting the suppliers to provide specifications of devices that I saw appropriate then, I bargained with them to ship the goods during ten days.

I did complete planning and schemes about Data Center to install equipment by my supervision to technicians.
I finished this process during a week and, I achieved all conditions so that employees of the ministry were impressed with the work.
After the manager returned and saw the process steps, he complimented me and promoted me to supervise projects.

Provide a longer background regarding your job title and responsibilities at the time. It is important to indicate this information as it will explain why, as a rank and file employee, you had access to the manager. It will also shed light on why you had such complete access to the system. Detailing the obstacle/s you had to overcome to succeed would also indicate additional reasons as to why you are proud of this achievement.

The language used is too simplistic and elementary for an English language writer. It lacks a professional love that comes with a well developed narrative. In fact, the paragraph presentations are too short. Since there is no word limit indicated, the presentations should be longer and more descriptive.

@Holt
Thank you so much for your comment and support, the limit is only 250 words.