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We are scared of something; Hispanic Scholarship - Academic challenge



MIA2013 2 / 2  
Feb 17, 2013   #1
Prompt : Describe a recent academic challenge you have faced.

My Essay :
It's a lie to say were not all scared of something. Whether its miniature-hairy critters or the thought of being trapped within closed proximities, we all, as human beings, are haunted by something. For me, this great fear is math. Although it pains me to suffer from such a childish phobia, I can't deny that I, a college bound high school senior, suffer from math anxiety.Since my kinder garden days, Math tests have been horrifying events for me .I managed to postpone ever taking advanced course work in math. However, this didn't last forever because while I was busy isolating the problem, the math community decided to add the alphabet to the already impossible subject for me. That's when I decided that I had to get over my fear if I was ever to succeed in college .So about a year ago, I decided to seek help. Like any other problem the first step was to admit said problem. I realized I had made myself scared of math by creating excuses. By telling myself that I was just "not cut out for math" or that math was "too hard and boring", I actually sunk myself into a bigger hole. By this point in my story, I was a high school junior in my first ever Honors math course. I felt that the only way to get acquainted with math was to challenge myself. I became a regular at my school's Thursday Study Tables and used the countless resources available to me to learn as much math as I could in one academic year. It took countless hours, more than a thousand word problems and many composition notebooks to finally reach a moderate level of mathematics comprehension. To me, having the strength to acknowledge my flaws in mathematics is my biggest accomplishment. Although, I have a long way to go before I can compete in any math decathlon, I know now that I have the determination and will power to succeed in any math course I might have to take in college.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Feb 18, 2013   #2
It's a lie to say were not all scared of something.

... If you change the order, this would read better with more clarity;
It's a fact that we all are scared of something.

For me, this great fear is math.

With me, this great fear is for math.

Although it pains me to suffer from such a childish phobia, I can't deny that I, a college bound high school senior, suffer from math anxiety.

I think you need to simplify the presentation.... too much complicated words gives a crowded look for your sentence. The most important thing is that you convey your idea crystal clear to the reader.

I cannot deny that I suffered severely with this childish math phobia.

Since my kinder garden days, Math tests have been horrifying events for me

Don't repeat the same idea too much.... Now tell the reader how you recovered :)


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