Seeking suggestions/opinions on essay for Endeavour Postgraduate Leadership Award (MS Data Science)

leadership activity essay

Please summarise, in words that can be understood by a person outside your field, details of your proposed leadership activity, why you chose your proposed host organisation and what your proposed leadership activity is intended to achieve. Also provide details, including proposed dates and locations of any proposed fieldwork and/or internships.

The Harvard Business Review has labelled data science the "sexiest job of the 21st century". And quite rightly so, considering the inconsistent fluctuations in the climate, stock markets, food supply, renewable energy and other phenomena that are often studied, forecasted and optimized by experts through an extensive study of past data. Data science is the study of unstructured and raw data to extract meaningful information and detect patterns for social, economic and business benefit.

With all the buzz around technical jargons such as 'Big Data', 'Artificial Intelligence', 'Machine Learning' etc., one only finds it more elating to delve into the field. I have thus chosen to enroll myself in the MSc Data Science program for the year 2019 at the University of Melbourne. In addition to the prominent world and country rankings, especially in computer science and statistics, the University of Melbourne has also been affiliated with a notable number of Nobel Laureates specifically in the field of science. This remarkable performance is a true representation of the high-quality research produced at the university. Moreover, the data science program at the university is a unique and comprehensive program, with an extensive base in both computer science and statistics. The course encompasses a variety of sub-topics under data science and also includes two capstone projects that will help leverage my acquired skillset.

With a masters in data science, I intend on achieving a solid theoretical base that will play a crucial role in my proposed field of research i.e. data science in agriculture. Further, I am highly motivated to receive consistently high grades that will allow me to undertake an individual research project as a part of the curriculum. The program also gives me a unique experience to ideate and collaborate with students from all around the world.

Sukriti, you have not really presented any details regarding a leadership activity that you plan to undertake during your MS studies. This leadership activity should concentrate on helping you enhance your skills as a data analyst in the field of AI and big data. In other words, talk about your internship during your MS studies. Where will be? How long will it take to complete? Why is this internship relevant to your career goals (what the activity is intended to achieve)? Your response only explains the details of the MS course that you want to enroll in, not what benefits it will serve you or what purposes it relates to professionally. The reviewer will not be interested in what you are saying because you are missing the whole point of the prompt. Don't send me a personal statement, send me a study plan for when you start working on your masters thesis. That will involve internships, research, and other pertinent activities and details. As a response to the prompt, this total essay is ineffective due to the irrelevant response you created.

Thankyou for your feedback @holt. I will definately include internships and research details. Additionally, I would like to point out that the 'proposed leadership activity' is rather the MS course itself as of what I understood from the guidelines. Kindly correct me if I'm wrong.

As per this year's Endeavour Guidelines:

"Applicants are expected to propose a Leadership Activity which will contribute to the objectives of the ELP (Section 2). Eligible Leadership Activities include:

Sukriti, based on your MS course choice, which is Data Science, you will be doing research based work using computer science and statistics. However, the course include capstone projects at the end of the term. The capstone research you will be doing will best be served by your exposure to practicums, clinical placements, Internships, or volunteer leadership activities at some point during your course of study. The leadership activity is not the course itself but rather, the result of your capstone project that will represent the consummation of your learning objectives during the time of study.

This is considered a part of the leadership activity as you should also be exposed to profession related internships that will allow you to better develop and practice the lessons you have learned. All of which should combine to create your "leadership activity" as you will be expected to be a leader in your office of profession upon your return to the work force. Which is why the leadership activity should include some form of leadership training in the form of practicum work or internships.

The leadership activity whether in an official capacity endorsed by the university or something that you do on your own time after classes will help you to create a more relevant capstone project and also help you to develop your leadership skills through work experience, which is why I would like you to include that reference in your essay if possible. It is part of the strengthening of your presented intentions to the reviewer which proves your ability to complete the course and also enhance your leadership skills while studying.

Note that the activity itself is stated as a requirement in the original instructions:

... details of your proposed leadership activity, why you chose your proposed host organisation and what your proposed leadership activity is intended to achieve. Also provide details, including proposed dates and locations of any proposed fieldwork and/or internships.

Therefore, the internship and practicum programs are an expected part of the presentation in this instance.