'strong leaders at every level' - Chevening scholarship in the field of clinical oncology

please help me and review my answers.
God bless you all

LEADERSHIP & INFLUENCE QUESTION
Chevening is looking for individuals that will be future leaders or influencers in their home countries. Explain how you meet this requirement, using clear examples of your own leadership and influencing skills to support your answer.

(Minimum word count: 50 words, maximum word count: 500 words)

Since my childhood I dreamed to be a doctor who relieve pain and bring smiles to those who are suffering. I find my happiness when I do something help people and make them happy. There is no doubt that there is no work in this world greater than prevent pain, and participate in this great work is what I wish and i will do all my best to make this wish come true. God help me.

Due to increase the factors that cause gene mutation that lead to cancer, millions people around the world from all ages especially children ,suffering from this cursed disease until death.According to the World Health Organization (WHO), the numbers of new cancer cases is expected to rise by about 70% over the next 20 years.

In my country,The paradigm of healthcare delivery, including the delivery of cancer care, is undergoing astounding shifts. New reimbursement mechanisms, an increased focus on cost versus outcomes, and an emphasis on patient-centered care, multidisciplinary teams, and care coordination are all driving significant changes.This, in turn, is requiring that the delivery of cancer care change. Moving the field into the future

requires strong leaders at every level of the organization.I always seek to be one of those leaders.
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One essay in one thread please

Laila, Please post your essays in individual threads. The rules of the forum indicate that there should only be one essay per thread because the reviewers cannot accurately review 4 essays simultaneously. The admin of this forum will most likely delete your multiple thread and leave only one essay, most likely the leadership one, for advising in this thread. Kindly post the other 3 essays in separate threads as soon as you can. In the meantime, I will comment on the essay that is most likely to remain once your thread is edited, that is the leadership thread.

You misunderstood the prompt. What you wrote is a personal statement which, would have been fantastic if you were responding to a different prompt that is not related to the Chevening scholarship. What you need to do is come up with examples of your leadership skills either in a civic or professional sense. This is not about informing the reader about cancer or portraying your dreams and ambitions for yourself in this field.

What you have to do is explain how you are an emerging leader in the field of oncology in your country. Have you participated in any cutting edge research where you took the lead on a certain topic of research? Is there any sign that you are capable of inspiring / influencing your subordinates to continue in helping you create or discover advancements in this field? Why do you consider yourself a leader? Base your response upon your actions. Not future plans, not a personal definition of leadership.

Your response must embody and portray your work as a leader. At the moment, you don't even come across as a follower in the response that you wrote. The content of your response is just totally wrong for the prompt.

Dear Laila,

Chevening is a very competitive scholarship, so I recommend you to read the essays of other applicants before starting with yours to have a general idea of what should be put in the essay. For the first two essays, try to make a draft of all your leadership/networking experiences, make bullet ideas of how you lead and influenced people around you to overcame difficulties, how you build and maintain relationships with others and use networkst to your advantage. Once you have a list, chose one or two experience that you think are your strongest examples and try to develop your essay from there. Try to be specific in describing what you did without being too technical. Also, in the essay about career plan, mentioning applying for pHD right after finishing your study in the UK could weaken your application since the scholarship requires returning to your country at least two years after your award has ended.

Hope this helps.

@Holt
@Hoanganh

thank you for your help , review this essay and tell me your comment please

My life experience has tought me alot of important concepts, one of them is if you want to make a good difference in this life you must be a good leader who have mind power, good decision-making and organized style in arranging priorities and work on it to achieve whatever he seeking for. However, leadership is not about doing everything by you own, but it's about how you can influence and motivate people, and how you can direct and choose the right persons then put them in the right position to gain successful outcomes.

Hence, my first leadership experience came from being family leader when my dad left us.I told my mother that we must not stop at this point and help her in establishment of a small business project to maintain education for me and my little brother.

After high school graduation , i couldn't give up obtaining higher education. I always wished to be a professional doctor who help the largest number of people and make my family proud. Therefore, i started my bachelor's degree in pharmaceutical science and complete it with CGPA 3.15.

In my fourth year university education , i was not satisfied how society looking for pharmacists as they are just Sellers who do not have a vital role in public health and improving the quality of life.I decided that i must work to correct this concept by asking my colleagues either in my university or in the other universities all over Egypt to establish a team to advocate pharmacists rights and discuss their problems with officials to solve it.We made many meetings with officials, the most important one was the meeting with General Captain of pharmacists in Egypt who expressed his happiness and pride with us. He told us that he will make a number of conferences to discuss these problems and work on resolving it . After attending conferences which was attended by a number of doctors and pharmacists from various African countries, The General Captain issuing decisions that provide pharmacists with powers which enable them to perform their role in the medical field by the best way.

I am proud of what i did before and i wish to take the next step to be a leader in the field of clinical oncology through Chevening Scholarship.