Hello everyone, I need your comments on my scholarship essay for NTU. Please do help I'm afraid it's not good enough, because I don't feel like it's good enough :|
* Describe, in less than 300 words, the values and beliefs you hold strongly to. Please provide examples of how you have demonstrated these in your actions.
I am basically an extrovert person. I like making relation with new people, being involved in some particular communities, mostly being active and dynamic. However, there is a threat that could possibly attack me back if I am not careful behaving myself. It is that people might be offended by my words or actions which I do not realize they could. I believe that it is extremely necessary for us to respect people while we are interacting with them. For the last couple of years in high school, I have learnt a lot about respecting others. It is fundamental yet easily forgotten.
I used to ignore a person's emotion towards something related to me as I stuck firmly to my own principal. This had led me to some conflicts and issues which I am sure did change my perspective. For instance, it was hard for me to respect younger people having opinions that contradict mine; it was even harder when I had to confront something against my beliefs. But, through life processes I have experienced, now I understand that people always have a good reason behind their words, actions, and attitudes. The term of 'good reason' is pointing to a good motivation or an unexposed emotion, which at all times deserve to be respected and appreciated. Now I find it easier and exhilarating to build relationships with people of various beliefs when I respect sincerely what they believe. I think it is one of the basic rules of networking.
As I am highly motivated to have my own extensive business network in future, I believe that studying business management at NTU will train me to have good business skills and provide me such promising prospect to achieve my goal.
How is it? Is it good enough? Please help me by correcting grammatical errors or ineffective sentences. I highly appreciate your comments.
* Describe, in less than 300 words, the values and beliefs you hold strongly to. Please provide examples of how you have demonstrated these in your actions.
I am basically an extrovert person. I like making relation with new people, being involved in some particular communities, mostly being active and dynamic. However, there is a threat that could possibly attack me back if I am not careful behaving myself. It is that people might be offended by my words or actions which I do not realize they could. I believe that it is extremely necessary for us to respect people while we are interacting with them. For the last couple of years in high school, I have learnt a lot about respecting others. It is fundamental yet easily forgotten.
I used to ignore a person's emotion towards something related to me as I stuck firmly to my own principal. This had led me to some conflicts and issues which I am sure did change my perspective. For instance, it was hard for me to respect younger people having opinions that contradict mine; it was even harder when I had to confront something against my beliefs. But, through life processes I have experienced, now I understand that people always have a good reason behind their words, actions, and attitudes. The term of 'good reason' is pointing to a good motivation or an unexposed emotion, which at all times deserve to be respected and appreciated. Now I find it easier and exhilarating to build relationships with people of various beliefs when I respect sincerely what they believe. I think it is one of the basic rules of networking.
As I am highly motivated to have my own extensive business network in future, I believe that studying business management at NTU will train me to have good business skills and provide me such promising prospect to achieve my goal.
How is it? Is it good enough? Please help me by correcting grammatical errors or ineffective sentences. I highly appreciate your comments.