Hi, I'm writing these two essays for fulbright. Please read them and correct any gramatical mistake you find.
Your feedback is very important to me.
Brian Tracy once said, "It does not matter where you are coming from. All that matters is where you are going". Ecuador, a tiny country with almost no technological background now is betting for knowledge and human talent as its primary resource. But despite all these efforts, the lack of well - prepared professionals who love their job affects most of the public institutions, especially universities. This causes a lack of research opportunities for graduate and undergraduate students in most of the public universities; this has undermined our technical development to the point that most of the technology that we consume is foreigner. I decided to be part of the change by studying what really passionate me.
I was born in the city of Loja, since I was a kid I used to disassemble remote controlled cars or even robots just to know how they worked, unfortunately, our economic situation did not allowed me to have many toys. What does not kill you makes you stronger, so I developed a strong sense of self-preparation that eventually led me to learn english by my own.Growing up in this context taught me that if you are born poor, it is not your fault, but if you die poor it is your fault.
When I was 14, due to our increasing economic problems, we were forced to leave the city and live in the rural area 15 kilometers to the south of Vilcabamba. There I graduated from high school and although I faced with immense pressure from my family to opt for a degree in Human Medicine, my love for mathematics and my problem solving skills led me to choose a major in Electronics and Telecommunications engineering. To study my career I chose Technical Private University of Loja (UTPL) despite the lack of scholarships and the fact that I could not afford the tuition fee. After realizing that working part time would deprive me from precious study time, I decided to change from UTPL to National University of Loja.
My university days were not just about earning a degree or getting excellent grades; it was about education and learning in all dimensions. My internship in Electrocompu as a Network Designer and my experience as co - founder and vice - chair of our IEEE branch provided me with the opportunity to discover my capabilities and to recognize that survivor in a professional environment not only depends on knowledge or how well you do, but also how well you relate to people. Although it was difficult to attend classes while I was doing my internship, it taught me how to manage time properly, but most important, it made me realize that nothing is easy, if you want something, you need to work hard to get it. I was able to accomplish good results either on the internship or as an IEEE volunteer, as well as developing lasting working relationships not only with friends and volunteers, but also with professors and colleagues.
My introduction to the telecommunications sector was thanks to the internship program My first job (Mi primer empleo) in the National Telecommunications Corporation (CNT EP), being selected due to my academic performance makes me feel proud. This was an amazing experience for both, my personal and professional goals. There, I met a lot of local professionals who helped me to develop my insights and provided an in - depth knowledge about the status of Information and Communication Technologies in our city. On June 2015, I was awarded the type "C" scholarship for Academic Excellence (which included an amazing prize of $50) due to the overall performance on my studies over the past years; the scholarship was awarded to only three students in our career.
I believe this is just the beginning, because I really aspire to achieve much more. Despite having a good academic record, internships and volunteering experience I still have much to learn and to give back to my country so I can help others. I have made my best to make the most of this chosen path, and my intention is to continue doing so.
Ecuador, a country whose economy has grown in the recent years thanks to oil export and the sale of commodities such as bananas or cacao, now seeks to generate more wealth, sustainable development through the change of the productive matrix. This change aims to achieve a transformation of an "economy of finite to infinite resources", in other words, an economy that depends on the knowledge and human talent, in order to achieve this change, the government is encouraging scientific research in several fields including Electronics, Telecommunications as well as Information and Communication Technologies (ICT).
I am interested in studying my master's degree in the field of Electric and Electronics engineering, with the sub - specialization in Signal Processing. This is relevant to my educational background (Engineering degree in Electronics and Telecommunications), and also to gain professional development as researcher. A master degree will provide me with more in - depth learning so that I will have the expertise required inside the academic world.
During the master's degree, I will focus my study on Digital Signals Processing. This is because my university needs professors in this field, people who can dedicate themselves to research and to solve real problems improving our quality of life and also making our city smarter. I will focus the acquired knowledge in the development of remote sensing applications for human health and also in the application of signal processing for computer vision, fields that are not well developed in Ecuador. My experience as an IEEE volunteer, event participant and organizer, provided me with the platform to meet notable local personalities within the technology world to discuss and analyze key issues where technology can be applied.
With regard to the Fulbright - Senescyt scholarship program, I want to study a master's degree in Electric and Electronics engineering in the United States due to its excellent reputation in engineering. In addition, I want to understand the cultural values in the United States and share these values within my community as well as with my colleagues to help them understand the importance of cross - cultural connections. An additional thing that I want to learn in the United States is the understanding of how American students learn in their class, and the impact of research in their education; I would also like to share the knowledge and values of Ecuadorian culture to students in the United States through volunteering on IEEE or any other student association.
Upon my return, I will have a strong background in the fields of Signal Processing and research, so I will seek for employment with a university or research facility, places where I can put my newly acquired knowledge in practice. Thanks to my experience with the National Telecommunications Corporation and IEEE, I will take advantage of the previous gained insight in the Telecommunications and ICT sector to enhance Ecuador's change in the productive matrix through research and teaching in the amazing and useful world of signal processing. But most important, I will encourage colleagues or students to pursue their studies through exchange programs just like Fulbright, so they can expand their vision, acquire professional skills and improve their future in the competitive world of the graduate education in the United States.
Felipe, I'd like to share my thoughts on your essays, first is your personal statement.
On a personal statement, I suggest that you eliminate a few sentences in order to direct your essay
to it's purpose, the reason of your essay is to make sure that the admission staff will see how you are
as a person, not much about your background but more into why and how you came up with
choosing Senescyt scholarship for Fulbright.
The one that the admission is going to look for is how you will be able to justify your decision in
choosing Fulbright and what drive you to become a part of the institution.
Moreover, highlight the relevance of your studies and your academic goals and how will this
be incorporated with Fulbright as your institution and your family.
I hope to red your revised essay soon and the best of luck to you.
Felipe, for the second essay on this Fulbright application,
here are my thoughts;
The presentation is appropriately done, not a mess around the essay or the pattern
of the paragraphs. There is also a good number of paragraphs and they are bold enough
to depict the sentences that illustrates the purpose of the essay.
It is well written to the point that it is almost in bullet points and elaborated properly.
I also like the fact that you were able to adhere to what is asked of the prompt, the objectives
that you enumerated are clear and direct to the point, targets that are realistic enough to be achieved
both academically and more so, mentally.
I hope my insights helped and oh, with your grammar,
it can be betted but overall, you have written a good essay.