Suffering grades - to overcome a significant obstacle to reach a goal

success is just a block away

I often heard about how difficult it was to lose someone dear to the heart and how it triggered different reactions in different people, little did I know what life had in store for me. I lost my dad in my second year at the university. He was the breadwinner of the family and that meant financing my education was going to be a significant challenge for me, talk less the emotional side of the situation. It was indeed a trying period for me, I needed to pull myself together as my grades were going to suffer if I didn't do so immediately. I started applying for scholarships, some of which I had to travel out of town to attend interviews and take aptitude tests during the session. With hard work, sheer resilience and the right attitude I was able to secure enough funding through scholarships to cover my tuition, accommodation and feeding expenses throughout my stay in the university. It turned out to be a bittersweet experience for me as it spurred me on to graduate with first class honors. If there was anything I learnt from the situation, it was that regardless of the situation, with perseverance and sheer resilience success is just a block away.

I think you should re-arrange your sentence to make people easy to understand your story or your intention. in addition, just mention something that reader should know. if you feel the sentence is not strong enough, just delete it. In addition, try to bring the cultural language style from native speaker by reading some article. so, it can enhance your writing style

Keep writing.

Ogundepo, your essay is pretty straightforward and lacking in emotion. Since this was a particularly trying time for you, I believe that there needs to be a balance between your emotional block, possibly anger towards the situation and how it changed your academic life forever along with your enlightenment that things don't need to change for you because you are capable of finding ways to continue with your education. This essay seems too matter of fact. It is as if everything was just obvious from your standpoint so you acted accordingly. I am sure that is not exactly how it transpired. You may want to rethink the presentation to show a little bit more realism and less of an automated response type of presentation.

This essay gives you the chance to display a sense of maturity and self responsibility. This is your chance to set yourself apart from the other applicants by showcasing how you developed into a mature and self-reliant person due to unforeseen circumstances. Don't waste the chance. Lengthen the essay or revise the content if you wish, just make sure to strike the balance and showcase the character development on your part.