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"I want to be a superhero" - Gks-u personal statement



Tan18 2 / 2  
Aug 10, 2022   #1
I would really appreciate a honest review on my personal statement.here are the questions/categories we had to answer.These points are given as a reference to write this essay.

- Motivations with which you apply for this program
- Educational background
- Significant experiences you have had; persons or events that have had a significant influence on you
- Extracurricular activities such as club activities, community service activities or work experiences
- If applicable, describe awards you have received, publications you have made, or skills you have acquired, etc.

"I want to be a superhero."

said eight years old me when I was asked what i wanted to become. I ,(name) , still have the same dream to help people and understand the roots of the problems faced by individuals. I always wanted to make a difference, and now, I know just how I am going to be able to accomplish that dream. I want to help people who are going through hard times. I want to be there for them, to help them overcome their inner demons. I want to let them know that their lives are worth living. With an aim to raise awareness about mental health, I have decided to study Psychology further to gain an in-depth knowledge about the subject.

I was introduced to Psychology when I had to make a decision regarding what all subjects I wanted in my high school. All the teachers were to give a brief introduction to all the subjects being offered at our school. It was when I got involved in the world of Psychology. During the time I studied Psychology, I realized questions don't always have answers with people, there are no sets of fixed answers nor will there ever be. This fact excited me to study Psychology further, for I am guaranteed that I will never run out of things to learn.

I come from a nuclear family consisting of my Father, my Mother and my younger brother. My parents have been the most influential in my life. Throughout the childhood, I have been raised with values that made me the person I am today, a kind, responsible and the one who stands up against injustice. My parents have worked hard to provide me with the best education possible, for education can make a very big change in the life of people. My Father who had served the Indian military for several years, has always induced the importance of health and education from the childhood. My mother who works as an home-based business woman has taught me patience and courage to face the difficulties.

In July 2022, I graduated my high school (12th) from so and so school which is situated in the state of country's name I believe myself as an active student in academic as well as extra-curricular activities. I have been the Scholar of my class for two consecutive years. I am very often involved in all the activities conducted by my school. Few of my extra-curricular activities includes my participation in the workshop conducted by Fortis, one of the prestigious hospitals of India; winning a fitness competition. I have volunteered at a NGO named 'Hamari Pahchan' for one of their initiative namely Sukhad . The aim of the initiative was to provide ,women from deprived sections, with sanitary napkins and educating them regarding menstrual hygiene and make them understand that Periods are not a taboo. During my last year of my high school, I completed my projects on 'Gender Stereotyping' and 'Bullying', which were awarded the best project in my class. I was also the head of the surveying team of an assembly which was on topic 'Drug Abuse'. I hope to continue on the path of Academic improvement to help me achieve a better society for the world.

In grade eight, I was given an assignment to write an essay on South Korea, on completion of their six years of friendship with my country. This was time I was fully exposed to South Korea, I learnt about their technology, culture, food and many more things. I won that round and was promoted for the next round which was a great experience for me. I was introduced to GKS when I was looking for university for further studies, I saw it as a chance I had never had before. As a low-income citizen, my study goals matched with GKS proposal. The undergraduate Psychology program in Korea far exceeds the standard for a quality education with fully equipped laboratories and faculty carrying out relevant research in internationally recognized journals. I'm certain I'll gain more than just knowledge and academic materials. I am ,anticipating eagerly to get a lot of cultural as well as academic experience through this program and sure that this opportunity will brighten my future. Thus, I will do my best to help society as well as develop the mutual friendship between countries with thankful heart.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15393  
Aug 10, 2022   #2
The motivation to further study Psychology as a college major does not have a very strong foundation in this essay. The writer wants the reviewer to believe that he has given a great deal of thought to the choice of major and has ample exposure in the field through academic and social exposure. Yet the discussions related to these aspects are very shallow and lacking in strong representation of the student's interest. While the awards received and recognitions within academic publication are notable, there should be a clear identifier as to how these relate to the strengths of the student as a future student of Psychology. Right now, these feel more like mere mentions that the writer does not consider important to the presentation. These should be better developed and lengthened in the presentation to help convince the reviewer that the writer thoroughly considered the relevance of this major to a professional career.
OP Tan18 2 / 2  
Aug 10, 2022   #3
Gks

Thank you so much for your valuable time and review. I will correct the mentioned things.


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