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"Outgoing," "passionate," and "holistic" - personal statement!

SunilPal 2 / 2  
Jan 5, 2023   #1

personal statement

While entering high school, my life completely changed. I lost my identity.

When I was 13 years old, I was a reserved person. I've always wanted to be in a comfortable atmosphere. In Grade 9, my parents bribed me with a new laptop by enticing me to study Computer Science. I thought studying computers would be extremely difficult and that it was only appropriate for geeks and top pupils.

But I was completely wrong. It was the first time I ventured into the computer world and out of my comfort zone. Computers were indeed challenging, and I had a hard time adjusting to my new environment. The decision I made to learn and study computers in groups with my friends and peers, helped me overcome my challenges. To give myself and my friends more opportunities to learn about computers outside of the classroom, I founded the first computer science club at my school.

My family and friends use the labels "outgoing," "passionate," and "holistic" to describe me.

Families in Indian culture have high expectations for their children. Even while a stable and happy home environment is considered to be a bare minimum for healthy growth and development, there is a thin line between caring and caring too much. The worst circumstances have been brought on by parental pressure. Expectations are good, but forcing their will on pupils raises concerns. Many children are depressed, worn out, and in great pain because they fear not living up to their parent's expectations. It helped me realise that having an objective perspective and focusing on our own needs is superior to thinking about what our culture idealises. This approach assisted me in developing a positive outlook. I think I should act in my own best interests without considering what others may think of me. I believe we should go hard or come back. My ability to make better decisions under my leadership was aided by having an unbiased mindset.

In my opinion, money is also necessary for living. My entire joint family is breaking. My family endured hardship as a result of my uncle's greed and selfishness. I learned the significance of money at a very young age. Having seen the effects of financial mismanagement on my family at such an early age has strongly influenced my views and beliefs about money. I firmly believe that although money cannot buy happiness, it can purchase the experiences that please us. Even if one doesn't need to be Elon Musk or have a lot of money to pay for amenities, he or she will still need some money up until the day of his or her death.

Diligent behaviour helped me to come up against all the obstacles and paved the way for confidence and hard work. This journey made me proud of my ability to improve my leadership, accountability, and creative skills. I've enhanced my communication and organisational skills and discovered how simple and small actions can lead to significant outcomes.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,250 4653  
Jan 5, 2023   #2
Why are you shouting at the reader? Do you want me to have your account suspended for disrespect? You already violated regulations here by not using an interesting title and then you did this. Consider yourself on notice for 2 violations, one of which you did twice. Do not do this again. Am I understood?

This is not an applicable personal statement. Not unless you were instructed to write the essay this way. I do not see any semblance of a personal statement in this presentation.

A personal statement requires the applicant to explain the development of his interest in his chosen major. Where did it start? How did you develop it? Why do you think this major and career path is for you?

Explain the university choice. Why there? Why that country? What do you look forward to studying there and living in the country? Why can't your country provide a good or similar learning experience?

By following my guide questions, you will manage to develop the correct personal statement for your application. If you had a different set of writing instructions then you should have provided it to receive a prompt specific review.

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