I support myself with part time job, have habit of donating blood regularly. Scholarship essay

hi guys, im new here and this is my first post,
i am applying for scholarship and the things that made it difficult for me is i required to write an short essay with title of "tell us why you should receive scholarship" in less than 100 words, i have read through lot of example of scholarship essay but most of them is long and i cant really summarize it. thanks for spending time to read this i really appreciate it and sorry for my bad grammar.

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I came from a low-income family, my family have sacrificed much to ensure that I can get a good education, at the same time I support myself with part time job, however, I am still in financial burden, and this is the reason why I apply for scholarship to pay for my costly tuition fees. I believe that I am qualified to apply this scholarship, beside my academic accomplishment, I have also involved in other activities as well, I have participated National Service program which shaped up me to become an independent person. Not only this, I have habit of donating blood on a regular basis which is my own way to contribute for the community. I believe this scholarship can motivate me to reach a higher academic excellence and became a successful person.

@pinky, to write a scholarship essay is already tasking and with the borderline of 100 words, it makes it more challenging.
However, I believe the prompt, "tell us why you should receive scholarship", should give you a guideline.
So, we try to dissect your essay;

- I camehale from a low-incomeless fortunate family,..
- ...my familythey have sacrificed so much...
- ..to ensure that I can get a good education,
- ..I am still in financial burdenfinancially unable to suffice my needs , and this is...
- just one of the reason why I apply for scholarship.to pay for my costly tuition fees.
- I believe that I am qualified to apply this scholarship, beside my academic accomplishment will qualify me as a recipient of the program ,..
- I have also involved in otheractively participate in extra curricular activities,as well, I have participated
-the National Service program..
- ...which shapedhonedup me to become an independent person.
- Not only this,I have habit ofAmong the priorities I make is donating blood on a regular...
- ...basis which is my own way to contribute forto the community.
- I believe this scholarship can motivate me to reachgrant me a higher academic excellence..
- ...and becamebecome a successful person.

@pinky, I haven't really check the word count, I leave it up to you and I hope the remarks I made help and I wish you the best of luck!!!

As Justivy03 mentioned, the essay could be more concise and impressive. As for content-wise, I wish you could be a little bit more specific of what your part time job was. I feel blood donation is not something distinct among other applicants, so in order to get a scholarship, it may be important that you find your uniqueness and describe that articulately.

a big thanks for your help and i will try to improve the essay =D