"Why do you think you are excellent?" - Digital Marketing Communications

brilliant Vietnamese students needed

Hi all, I am applying for the 50% tuition reduction scholarship. Their criteria are set as below:
"We are looking for brilliant Vietnamese students who have not only excelled in academics but also engaged in extracurricular activities, sports, community engagement etc. You should submit a detailed CV with not more than 250-word justification summary 'Why I think I'm excellent'

And here is my essay. I'd really appreciate your thoughts and comments!

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I have had much curiosity and thirst for knowledge, especially in the field of Media & Communication. Learning is an activity I truly enjoy, whether through traditional lectures or books. Therefore during my study in A B C D University - Japan, I maintained high academic performance and luckily managed to achieve several scholarships and awards.

Academics are not my only priority, however. I actively participated in many education-related extra-curricular activities like Teaching Assistant or Academic and Cultural Program. By working with international students, I had the chance to expose myself to different cultures and solve cross-cultural problems, consequently developed a higher sense of empathy and adaptability. Furthermore, I also managed several large-scale events and projects in a limited timeframe, hence significantly enhanced my leadership, confidence and interpersonal skills. Meanwhile, I also contributed to the Vietnamese community in Japan by leading the Campaign Team of Vietnamese Youth & Student Association. I could express my imagination and creativity through proposing new ideas, drafting marketing content and communication materials for the association's brand image and on-campus events. Thus I connected hundreds of Vietnamese students on campus together and make our community a stronger, more cohesive one. Marketing is a robust and dynamic field, so getting hands-on experiences like this is truly valuable for me, and I believe L T University's prestigious faculty and in-depth academic program will assist me in becoming a well-rounded communication expert.

As a post-graduate student in Digital Marketing Communications, I would strike for greater achievements, and contribute both academically and professionally to L T University.

I have had much curiosity and thirst... Revise: I have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge in Media & Communications, my field of study.
Therefore During my study in ... and luckily(I would say to take this word out, unless it's necessary for politeness, if that is a big factor where you come from) managed to ...

Academics are not my only priority, however. I actively participated in many education-related extra-curricular activities like such as being aTeaching Assistant or and the Academic and Cultural Program. By working with international students, I had the chance to expose myself to different cultures and solve cross-cultural problems, consequently developed a higher sense of empathy and adaptability examples?. Furthermore, I also managed several large-scale events and projects in a limited timeframe, hence which significantly enhanced my leadership, confidence and interpersonal skills. Meanwhile(remove this because you're giving examples to the previous sentence) I also contributed to the Vietnamese community in Japan by leading the Campaign Team of Vietnamese Youth & Student Association. I couldexpressed my imagination and creativity through by proposingthe proposal of new ideas, anddrafting marketing content and communication materials for the association's brand image and on-campus events. Thus I connected hundreds of Vietnamese students on campus together and makemade our community a stronger, more cohesive one. Marketing is a robust and dynamic field, so getting hands-on experiences like this is truly valuable for me, and I believe L T University's prestigious faculty and in-depth academic program will assist me in becoming a well-rounded communication expert.

As a post-graduate student in Digital Marketing Communications, I wouldwill strikeaim for greater achievements, and contribute both academically and professionally to L T University.

I only figured out the formatting of my edits halfway through, so if you have any questions, just ask. I wish you luck in your scholarship application!