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'Trains, cars, skyscrapers, games' - Questbridge Quest for excellence essay for STEM



kitkat2 1 / -  
Mar 21, 2016   #1
Please share why you are interested in a career in science, technology, engineering, and/or mathematics (STEM), and how your involvement in this field may positively impact the future of society.

Trains, cars, skyscrapers, games: these were the things that fascinated me as a child. As a millennial living in New York City, I was surrounded and inspired by the city's newest innovations in technology and infrastructure. Awed by the advancements around me, I made efforts to understand how these technologies worked and how these buildings were made. I watched the science and discovery channels, read books on electricity at the library, and visited museums. Soon, I wanted to know everything in the world. In my quest to sate my curiosity, I realized that even with the cutting-edge technology and information of the twenty-first century, there were still problems that plagued the world such as large carbon emissions, lack of infrastructure in third world countries, harmful waste disposal methods, and global hunger. Aware of the problems the world faced, I wanted to find solutions to these issues. I discussed these problems with my teachers and spent my free time learning basic biology, chemistry, physics, and arithmetic. It wasn't until I experienced the blackouts, flooding, and death caused by Hurricane Sandy and learned about STEM a year later in eighth grade that I became seriously committed to finding an active career and role in STEM. I didn't want to see the look of despair in the faces of my family, neighbors, or anyone ever again. STEM could help me achieve this by giving me a pathway to the front lines of innovation. I want to learn more about the world and use that knowledge to invent solutions to problems affecting a large number of people. Although I have not yet decided a specific career to pursue in STEM, I know that my involvement in this field will undoubtedly lead to the increased safety and growth of society.

justivy03 - / 2265  
Mar 23, 2016   #2
Hi Greg, I would like to help out in your essay, please find the corrections below;

- I watched the science and discovery
- STEM could helpwill be able to assist me achieve
- this by givingproviding me a pathway
- Although I have not yet decided a specific career to pursue in STEM,( this is not necessary as it shows sign of weakness )
- of the society.

There you have it Greg, so far it's just minor corrections and I hope it helps.
For future reference, I advice that you carefully choose the words in your sentences, I believe other than this, which is major, the overall essay os written well and its contents speaks for what you want your readers as well as the critics would understand.
Menduch - / 1  
Mar 27, 2016   #3
Huh, I applied for this too! :) Did you sign up for the chance to attend a summer program? Good luck to you! I loved reading this btw. It was really well-written.


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