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When I turned sixteen, my freedom has ended. Questbridge 'experience' essay



mattiec123 1 / -  
Sep 17, 2015   #1
Questbridge essay #2: Describe an experience that caused you to change your perspective or opinion.

Leading up to my sixteenth birthday, my parents never failed to remind me to enjoy my freedom, because soon they would be putting me to work. In a family where each additional dollar determines whether you get McDonalds or an actual nutritious meal, children have to pull their weight. Thus I was thrust in to the uncertain world of job hunting. Searching for a job has many nerve-wracking components all leading up to the harrowing interview. When I got the call that I had received an interview for a local restaurant called Steak-Out, I was initially very excited but then the wave of anxiety soon followed. Most aspects of the interview did not phase me; however, I was almost catatonic from distress over the interview questions. My anxiety caused me to spend hours scouring google for the most popular questions asked and then even more hours standing in front of the mirror reciting my responses. Every question was fairly straight-forward till I came to the one that was the catalyst for my first existential crisis. What are my biggest weaknesses? I felt like this question was a catch-22. The interviewer wants to know my weaknesses, but any answer I give could hurt my chance since weaknesses are seen as inherently unfavorable things. I went through all of my weaknesses with the feeling of impending doom. I am a perfectionist, almost to the point of neuroticism. My self-confidence on a scale from one to ten has never reached a five. I am not a genius by any means, and all of my success has come from hours of hard work. Going through all of my weaknesses and trying to pinpoint which one would make an appropriate answer, quickly made me feel incapable. Once the heavy breathing of a rising panic attack started, my yogi of a father stepped in to give me his words of wisdom which have stuck with me ever since. He told me that my weakness was not my weaknesses, but it was that I was allowing myself to think it terms of weaknesses. I had wrote myself off from the moment I started thinking of my flaws. By becoming focused in all the things I could not do, I forgot what I was capable of, and what I was capable of overcoming. This led to a new era in my development. Indeed, I am a perfectionist by nature, but I do not have to let my limits limit me. I still am often unsure of myself, but now I take a deep breath and trust my instincts and my resolve. I may not be a math whiz, but I make up for it in dedication and work ethic. These days whenever asked I say my biggest weakness is that I do not let myself think in terms of weaknesses. As long as I maximize my abilities and try to overcome my limitations, I am more than content with my faults.

vangiespen - / 4077  
Sep 17, 2015   #2
Hi Mattie, while the essay you wrote is quite good, it got lost a bit while you were telling your story. The impact of the essay can be even greater if, rather than veering away from the job interview after your talk with your father, you instead brought us into the actual interview room with you and described that experience leading to the point of having to answer the question about your flaws. The reason I believe that you should do this is simple, the prompt specifically asks you to describe the experience. In this case, the essay should not be about your preparation for the interview of the Zen - like wisdom of your dad. It should be all about that moment when, after all of your preparation, you came face to face with the interviewer and you heard the question being asked.

We did not get the sense of how that actual asking of the question helped you to change your perspective and helped you develop the answer. What I gather from your current response is that your father gave you the answer to the question. The soul searching or analytical aspect, the personal involvement with finding the answer to the question does not really exist and has weakened the overall response to the prompt. One way of responding to the essay while keeping your father in the story would be to revise the way the event actually happened. Thereby removing the focus of the essay from the interview and placing it upon the moment you had with your father instead.

You could explain that you were preparing for that particular interview question and you did not know how to respond to it. You had a talk with your father and somehow, your conversations included a specific activity where you were defeated. However, you came away from it learning something new about yourself that helped you develop as a person. Thus, a weakness became a strength and the talk with your father, helped you change your perspective or opinion of yourself and your weaknesses. Do you think that could work for you?
justivy03 - / 2265  
Sep 18, 2015   #3
- Leading up to my sixteenth birthday,
- When I got the call that I had receivedwill have an interview...
- ...catalyst forof my first existentialexisting crisis.
- My self-confidence on a scale fromof one to ten...
- ...wisdom which havehad stuck with me ever since.
- ...but it was that I was allowing myself to think itof the terms of weaknesses.

Weakness is our way of saying that we are human, bound to have difficulties, challenges and strategies to succeed in life. So, never be afraid to tell anyone about your weaknesses, it's a testament to who we are and how we try to become better everyday.

Going back to your essay, I must say it's a good and written with the hope of letting every reader know that you are ready to take on the challenge towards the next step.


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