My vision into the reality. Chevening: leadership and influence essay

Greetings,

Please review and comment.

Chevening: leading and influencing

Chevening is looking for individuals who will be future leaders or influencers in their home countries. Explain how you meet this requirement, using clear examples of your own leadership and influencing skills to support your answer.

(minimum word count: 100 words, maximum word count: 500 words)

I believe transform of my vision and vision of those who are around me into reality is the most passionate things that I have been experiencing since school time.

Growing up in Afghanistan where the people suffer from 4 decades of war, poverty, corruption, discrimination against women, in addition challenging situation for both children and women in society, pushed me to help women in university (Kabul polytechnic university) to fight against discrimination and sexual harassments, on the other hand working in national communities for child abuse in Afghanistan.

I was one of a few young students who were being not extremist, to help students in social life specially women and children who are not being able to fight against extremist thinking and their rights by initiated activities regarding social change in isolated environment and dedicated to empower in order to help youth women to develop their leadership potential, environment, education poverty alleviation and sports more over enforce youth and women in decision making and spread awareness to fight against sexual harassments.

Taha, I am not sure if you fully understand what the Chevening leadership and influencing essay is all about. The scholarship program is highly specific and selective about their applicants having the capacity to create a change in their country. This is the reason why they require the scholarship applicants to display their leadership and influencing skills within their profession. After all, the future professional, business, and political leaders of a country start within their field of expertise of line of work. It is a highly technical requirement that pushes the applicants to display their best leadership and influencing abilities on a professional scale. That is why I am saddened by the fact that your essay does not fall within the professional requirements and considerations of the scholarship. While the content of the essay is admirable, the fact that you did not manage to present this on a professional level is what makes the presentation lackluster and inadequate as part of your application documents.

It would be in your best interest to create a more appropriate leadership and influencing essay that is based more upon your professional background and experiences. If you are unsure about how to proceed with the revision or the writing of a new essay, all you have to do is look at the numerous examples of this scholarship essay within this forum. The examples you will be seeing will surely inspire you to revise your essay in a more appropriate manner.

@hashimitaha
please look at the other examples for this sort of essay in this forum. There have been many before you and some, concurrent with you in their essay development process that you can learn from.

Merged:

Teaching and running business means creating networks. 2nd Question of Chevening networking skills.

Chevening is looking for individuals with strong networking skills, who will engage with the Chevening community and influence and lead others in their chosen profession. Explain how you meet this requirement, using clear examples of your networking skills, and outline how you hope to use these skills in the future.

(minimum word count: 100 words, maximum word count: 500 words)

networking by teaching and through startups

Born in middle class family means cover all your expense by yourself, when I was in 10th grade at school I had started teaching science subjects for those students who were in lower classes on those time teaching was not only reason to cover my expense but it was also a great opportunity to pass the exam in order to get entrance at a biggest engineering school in Afghanistan which was one of my dream, teaching means creating networks with variety students with other teachers and absorbing the mentality of every individual, it was immense experience to be in that circle.

After gotten admission in university my expense got over and I started a small startup which I took small project from different organizations in a lower base prices and covered the expense, those startups helped me to extend the circle of network with the CEO, senior and junior employees of companies, in addition building of networking skill was much important for me in order to maintain network with different people with different skills, more over became a student of biggest and best engineering school and be a part of scholars is a window for more networks, engaging with those scholars and communities was new experience, that helps me to be social activist and help those Afghan young woman students who would suffer from sexual harassment.

afterward I thought with the combination of business with engineering It not only help me to grow different skills, but also I could help my people to create new job opportunities, and that I could easily fight against extremist thoughts, sexual harassments and child abuse, in order to achieve my dreams and thoughts I needed more knowledge about business and I started Masters of business administration at the one of best business schools in Afghanistan although it was challenging for me beside studying, working with the company with diverse employees and cross culture environment but it was vital to gain more knowledge and be a part of more scholars.

Zaheen, the first glaring thing from your essay is the lack of period. It was as though your paragraph is a single long winded sentence, which may make it difficult for the reader to get your main point.

I feel that throughout your essay, it doesn't convey your networking skills enough. You can expand the 2nd paragraph to further improve your essay. How did you know these people? Listing a few cases/stories of your startup work that connect with the organizations and communities will surely help to convey your networking skill.

Lastly, your closing paragraph didn't show about how you can use your networking skills to influence the community. It also lacks an explanation about how would you will engage with the Chevening community upon your arrival.

Zaheen, if this is the only example of networking skills that you can present to the reviewer then your application will not get past the consideration point. This network is so unprofessional that it will not be possible for this to be considered a step in improving the currently existing network of Chevening, which is the whole point of this essay. You need a professionally developed network that details your ability to create, cultivate, and use the network to your professional benefit. Think of it this way, if your network can help you advance your career ambitions, then it can help Chevening improve its network and also, assist the future scholars in their quest for career improvements as well. Your main role in this network will be that of mentor. That is why you are being asked to detail the type of network that you have and its usefulness. None of these requirements are present in your essay. It is not there because you haven't had a chance to develop a more serious profession based network. You may need to get creative in your presentation so that you can make an amateur network sound important enough as a professional network. If that will be possible for you to do. This network should exist to help you and Chevening in the future so make sure you discuss the development of those networks along those lines. Review the prompt requirements, that way you will be clearer about the expectations from this essay. Read the samples, the work of those before you can help you develop a new essay in a better manner as well.