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'Work hard, keep your head up' Describe participation in extracurricular activities essay



elterrible 1 / 1  
Jan 9, 2014   #1
Hey guys, I would really appreciate it if you took the time to read my scholarship essay and give me any feedback.
Prompt: Describe your participation in extracurricular activities.
What have you learned from your experience(s)?
(Examples may include: community service, volunteer work, employment, school clubs, sports, family, church, etc.) 400-600 words (i know I went over the limit)

"Work hard, keep your head up, push forward and don't look back," this is what I said to myself the moment I realized I was giving up my studies to help support my family. In high school, the thought of not having enough for the month's rent, or worse, not knowing if my parents would make it home every night, made it difficult for me to be interested in joining extracurricular activities. I was more interested in getting a job and being able to help provide for the family. When the time came to make my decision, I chose to put the books down and work. Despite me missing out on the academic benefits of extracurricular activities, I was able to experience real world situations at work that have provided me with life lessons that I may have not acquired elsewhere. In those situations I was able to discover new qualities about myself, my goals, and the working world.

To my surprise, I discovered certain traits about myself that I had not considered before. For instance, having worked just a few weeks in a restaurant as a cook, my co-workers had described me to be a brave and hardworking person. They were surprised that a person my age and without any prior job experience would be able to withstand the intense labor that other people with culinary backgrounds could not handle. I was confessed that they did not expect me to stay. In all honesty, I was very aware that the job was stressful and labor intensive from the beginning, but the financial struggle back home was enough motivation for me to keep on trying. Sure I was not the most experienced nor skillful cook there, but I made sure to put all my effort and dedication into learning the essentials and deliver quality service to the customer. The fact that I had over looked the difficulties and persevered made me realize I was quite the dedicated hard worker I was described to be.

Furthermore, working in labor intensive and exhausting jobs has made it easier for me to depict my academic and career goals. The reason being, I want to secure a better future for me and my family by obtaining an education and make enough to support them. I truly respect those who have worked this profession the majority of their lives; however, it is something I do not see myself doing for a long time. I do not regret choosing to work either, as it helped me clarify my goal of earning a computer science degree and make a living doing what I like best. To make this a possibility, I am willing to commit to my studies and contribute to my community by guiding other students who like me had to give up their studies to support their families.

"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place, and I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently, if you let it," (Rocky Balboa) I could not think of a better line when I relate back to the lessons I learned at work. For one thing, I learned that not everyone wishes to see you succeed. Indeed, I have cross paths with a couple of these people who go out their way to put you down. Yet, having my goals set firmly on my mind, I have learned to work and ignore their negativity and continue to perform to the best of my ability. With this mindset, I have been financially awarded a couple times and acknowledged for my leadership qualities. In addition, I also learned that it is beneficial to start at the bottom of a company in certain cases; because it makes you aware of the challenges you overcame to achieve your ultimate goal, consequently, shaping you into a more driven and determined person.

In the end, even though I deprived myself from extracurricular activities at school, I was able to gain beneficial life experiences at work that have shaped me into a much more mature and focused individual. I truly believe that if I am given a chance, I will give one hundred percent of my effort and dedicated to make the opportunity all worth it.

Shpresa 4 / 10  
Jan 11, 2014   #2
Good job! I really liked it. One minor suggestion: I get that working hard at an early age helped you understand how important is to obtain an education (and eventually get a better job), but I don't understand how working as a cook helped you understand that you want to pursue a computer science degree. Elaborate more on this - be more specific just to avoid any confusion.


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