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Working as environmental researcher at nature conservation sector. Career plan Chevening scholarship



mostafakadi 1 / 1  
Oct 26, 2016   #1
My immediate plan upon completion of the Chevening award and returning to Egypt is going to continue my work as an environmental researcher at nature conservation sector, Egyptian environmental affair agency where I will put all my new abilities to develop surveillance the sources of pollution and boost measures to reduce the potentially harmful environmental effect.

At this stage, I believe that the experience that I will gain from master's degree in the UK will play an essential role in my career life since it will provide new methods and ways to improve my analysis and discover new nanostructured materials in environmental pollution detection, monitoring, and remediation. Hence, the Chevening award is keeping me away from my peers as a highly energetic man with a good knowledge to become a successful researcher.

At the same time, I'm going to join doctoral degree in nanomaterial for environmental applications to advance my skills in research and analysis within my field, which can benefit my academically, professionally and personally. Also, I will have more qualified for top-level positions and have the opportunity to influence economic and social change by proposing solutions to current environment-relevant issues.

After ten years of working and researching, my objective is to upgrade become a director of the regional branch at EEAA. I believe that within this position I could change some policy and development new routes of detection and controlling of contaminants through the introduction of nanotechnology into an environment to the ministry of the environment.

Finally, I am going to establish a non-government organization that will have essential goals are oversight the pollution in Upper Egypt and will introduce a problem-solving for troubleshooting of the environment. Moreover, it will provide appropriate support for those affected by environmental problems so as to preserve the public health for Upper Egyptian who suffer from the caring during these years. Egypt is in need of environment without any pollution for good health and economic.

ichanpants89 16 / 742  
Oct 26, 2016   #2
Hi Mostafa,
Welcome to EssayForum :)

Before rushing to my feedback, my suggestion is that you can give at least one space / one enter for each paragraph. This would ease us in reading and checking your essay. Next, I would like to give several inputs related to the development of your essay. I hope you can follow through.

1st paragraph:
- My immediate plan upon completioncompletingof the Chevening awardmy study and returning to Egypt is that I have a tendency to continuegoing to continue my work as an environmental researcher at nature conservation sector, Egyptian environmental affair agency. (stop here, new sentence)

- In this place,where I willam going to put all my new abilities to... (don't you realize that this is a sentence and not even close to a paragraph? Please avoid making long-but-inaccurate-and-ineffective sentence like this. You can just write 2 or 3 clauses per sentence.)

2nd paragraph:
- ... that the experience that I willam going to definitely gain from my postgraduatemaster's degree in the UK (...) my analysis. andIn addition, it is also possible for me to discover new nano-structured materials in detecting environmental pollution detection , monitoring, and remediation. (another long-and-complicated sentence)

- Hence, the Chevening award is keeping me away from my peers as a highly energetic man... (I am quite confused about what you mean in this sentence)

Another general suggestions for the betterment of this essay is that:
- Avoid using contractions like i'm, can't, or many more. This can make the essay less-formal.
- Write a paragraph that consists of at least 3 sentences. Your words count are still far away from the maximum. You can still add approximately 150 words.

Hope this helps :)


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