Hello,
I am applying for a scholarship in the U.S. and I have to write about this topic:
In an essay of no less than 250 words and no more than 500 words, explain the unique perspectives you hope to gain in the U.S. and how you intend to use these skills, knowledge and experience upon your return to your home country.
Here's what I've got so far:
When I was fourteen years old, I became part of a group of teenagers who volunteer to improve our community's life. Since then, we have been working on projects such as gathering supplies for nursing homes and donating books to public schools. These actions had a great impact on my life and influenced me on choosing the medical career. I realized that, as a doctor, I could do even more to assist people. Then, by the time I completed the first year as a medical student, I established a goal: to work with the international medical organization Doctors Without Borders/MÊdecins Sans Frontières (MSF), which brings quality medical care to people in more than sixty countries.
My enthusiasm on working with MSF also comes from my passion for travel. After I returned from the language exchange I did when I was fifteen, I could understand how enriching the experience of living abroad is. Even though I spent just one month in Canada, I achieved a level of maturity, independence and self-confidence that cannot be provided by any other situation. The language acquisition and the integration into another family, as well the development of friendships, were very rewarding too. For these reasons, I believe that I will do well with MSF. In this organization, doctors are temporarily hired to work in another country, so all the benefits of living abroad are integrated with the practice of medicine.
However, it is necessary to meet certain requirements to work with MSF. Thus, my success does not depend only on my wish to help others or travel, but also on some particular skills that I intend to gain in the United States (U.S.). For example, it is essential to have a strong academic foundation. The contact with a modern, responsive and world-class educational system is the first step to accomplish my goal. Studying at any university in the U.S. will certainly enhance my knowledge and allow me to perform medicine with more excellence.
Furthermore, flexibility and adaptability are required for a professional who wants to work abroad, so that an unusual environment will not interfere in his work. The early experience of living in the U.S is the best way to acquire these abilities and get prepared for my future work with MSF. In addition to these requirements, the medical career demands a certain quantity of responsibility, sensitiveness and respect. I believe that the interaction with students from other cultures can develop one's different abilities, including the communication and relationship skills. In this way, studying abroad will also grant me more confidence in relating with patients.
Therefore, studying in the U.S. can be valuable in immeasurable ways. On the educational aspect, it can improve my knowledge in medicine and my understanding of different cultural perspectives. Among the personal benefits, the academic exchange can enhance my self-confidence and maturity. All these advantages will benefit my academic formation and will be truly important to achieve my goal of working with MSF.
Could anyone help me to correct this essay?
I would also like to hear some opinions about what I've written.
Thanks a lot!
Lucas.
I am applying for a scholarship in the U.S. and I have to write about this topic:
In an essay of no less than 250 words and no more than 500 words, explain the unique perspectives you hope to gain in the U.S. and how you intend to use these skills, knowledge and experience upon your return to your home country.
Here's what I've got so far:
When I was fourteen years old, I became part of a group of teenagers who volunteer to improve our community's life. Since then, we have been working on projects such as gathering supplies for nursing homes and donating books to public schools. These actions had a great impact on my life and influenced me on choosing the medical career. I realized that, as a doctor, I could do even more to assist people. Then, by the time I completed the first year as a medical student, I established a goal: to work with the international medical organization Doctors Without Borders/MÊdecins Sans Frontières (MSF), which brings quality medical care to people in more than sixty countries.
My enthusiasm on working with MSF also comes from my passion for travel. After I returned from the language exchange I did when I was fifteen, I could understand how enriching the experience of living abroad is. Even though I spent just one month in Canada, I achieved a level of maturity, independence and self-confidence that cannot be provided by any other situation. The language acquisition and the integration into another family, as well the development of friendships, were very rewarding too. For these reasons, I believe that I will do well with MSF. In this organization, doctors are temporarily hired to work in another country, so all the benefits of living abroad are integrated with the practice of medicine.
However, it is necessary to meet certain requirements to work with MSF. Thus, my success does not depend only on my wish to help others or travel, but also on some particular skills that I intend to gain in the United States (U.S.). For example, it is essential to have a strong academic foundation. The contact with a modern, responsive and world-class educational system is the first step to accomplish my goal. Studying at any university in the U.S. will certainly enhance my knowledge and allow me to perform medicine with more excellence.
Furthermore, flexibility and adaptability are required for a professional who wants to work abroad, so that an unusual environment will not interfere in his work. The early experience of living in the U.S is the best way to acquire these abilities and get prepared for my future work with MSF. In addition to these requirements, the medical career demands a certain quantity of responsibility, sensitiveness and respect. I believe that the interaction with students from other cultures can develop one's different abilities, including the communication and relationship skills. In this way, studying abroad will also grant me more confidence in relating with patients.
Therefore, studying in the U.S. can be valuable in immeasurable ways. On the educational aspect, it can improve my knowledge in medicine and my understanding of different cultural perspectives. Among the personal benefits, the academic exchange can enhance my self-confidence and maturity. All these advantages will benefit my academic formation and will be truly important to achieve my goal of working with MSF.
Could anyone help me to correct this essay?
I would also like to hear some opinions about what I've written.
Thanks a lot!
Lucas.