Writing about the motivations with which I apply for the KGSP Undergraduate 2017 program

KGSP Undergraduate 2017 - Personal Statement

Hello, everyone. I am applying for KGSP for Undergraduates 2017. Please be kind and help me out with my personal statement. These are the aspects they want in my personal statement :

- Motivations with which you apply for this program
- Personal background in family and education
- Significant experiences you have had; risks you have taken and achievements you have made, persons or events that have had a significant influence on you

- Extracurricular activities such as club activities, community service activities or work experiences
- If applicable, describe awards you have received, publications you have made, or skills you have acquired, etc.

For now I have only written about the motivations with which I apply or the program. Will the following will be enough or did I missed something? Please be kind and help me out as soon and as much as possible. Thank you.

The reason why I am applying for this scholarship is because I want to get some new experiences and knowledge, which I believe will help me to get a better understanding of Psychology, especially human behaviour. As we all know, Psychology covers a variety of topics, most of them related to human's mind, behaviour and communication. The place where one grew up, the culture of the people surrounding them and their environment will have a great influence on one's mind, behaviour and communication. Born in Malaysia and staying here all my life, had already made me exposed to the culture, tradition and general behaviour of the people in Malaysia. If I am able to go to Korea and spend 5 years there to study Psychology and also to learn the Korean language, I would be able to learn how the culture and environment of a person affect their mind and behaviour at a deeper level since I would be experiencing and observing the difference in the culture, tradition and general behaviour of the people in Korea, on my own. Instead of just studying theoretically and having to understand these basic and utmost important concepts of Psychology, I would be able to compare the differences between people from different cultures based on my own experience and have a much deeper understanding of it. This would help me throughout my study of Psychology major since I would be experiencing the theory in my physical life every day.

Hello Thiviya, it was an interesting to hear that you want to get a scholarship and i hope you can pass it. So, i want to try to help you to make some correction on your sentence.

At the first sentence on your own motivations, you write "............this scholarship is because....." i think you must replace it because to much verb on that sentence. and also at the next one, you write "......... I want to get some new experiences........." it should be replace too because you don't need it on your sentence.

i think just it from me and i hope you can pass on your scholarship, keep spirit!

Thank you, mem77. That was very helpful for me. Is the following version of my first sentence is good?

The reason I am applying for this scholarship is to get new experiences and knowledge, which I believe will help me to get a better understanding of Psychology, especially human behaviour.