common app: elaborate on one of your activities (a summer job)

it's supposed to be maximum 150 words, i have exactly 150 words.

is this ok?
what should i delete/add?
are there unnecessary details in there?

here it is:

I held a summer job at the Main Line Chinese Cultural Center. It is a camp where american born Chinese children are given exposure to the Chinese culture and language. Therefore, since I was fluent, I was required to speak Chinese as much as possible. I held the position of head junior counselor and teaching camper. As head junior counselor, it is my responsibility to keep track of the attendance and to monitor the performance of the junior counselors, and report it to the advisor. As a teaching camper, I assisted the teacher in the arts and craft class by preparing material or helping the children. During my time at the center, I helped build a book corner and donated up to fifty children's books. I also helped organize the talent shows at the end of the season by gathering ideas from the counselors and giving them to the advisor.

Sounds good to me. I am not sure if you're supposed to elaborate on the meaningfulness of the summer job or not. If so, then you might want to work on that a little. Other than that, it looks great! Good Luck!

English Writing on my job routine about new employee's orientation - feedback

Hello everyone!

Since I am quite new on writing English language so I need someone to give me some advices on my writing task. If you have some advices on my writing, please feel free to let me know so I can work on and make it better.

Thank you,
Pat

You should write your essay or assignment and then send it here so we can have a look at what you have done so far. Then we'll be able to edit for you and offer advice on how to make your writing better and stronger. Good luck!

:)