"Abraham's teachings and his family": Tell us an experience that is important to you?

UC Prompt #2
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

I have grown up in a household that has imprinted certain values and morals that have now become instinctive to me. I have taken on the opportunity to try to imprint these same values onto a young second grader named Abraham by tutoring him with his weekly homework. Since our very first session, I have seen that he not only looks up to me as a mentor, but also as a friend. It has been a tremendous and challenging experience for us both. I have now experienced firsthand the struggles that many families and children face when it comes to their education.

Abraham has been brought up in a native Spanish speaking home. His parents are struggling to support themselves as well as five young children. This can be difficult when Lily, his mother, works long hours and Robert, his father, is unemployed and paralyzed from a gunshot wound and in a wheelchair. Both of them were high school dropouts and have struggled keeping Abraham engaged in his education. Reading comprehension and English are the fundamental skills in academics that Abraham is learning in school now. Since English is a second language for Abraham, our communication can become especially difficult. This has forced me to be more flexible and simplistic in my instructional methods. I have also encouraged him to read more often between our tutoring sessions. In contrast to Abraham, I was raised in a home with an extensive array of children's literature that has helped me immensely in my scholastic achievement. One of our first "field-trips" was to obtain a library card to begin his exposure to classic children's books. Having had these experiences assisting Abraham succeed in school under difficult circumstances, has markedly enhanced my ability to show leadership. I am honored to be enriching his educational practice and be an example to him as well as his family.

I have learned just as much from teaching Abraham as he has learned from me. I have realized my own strength of perseverance, even when matters are tough. Such as staying focused in keeping him organized and ready for school when I am not there so he does not have to rely on his parents help. I am proud to be able to say that I have contributed to Abraham's education. Even though I cannot foresee the final outcome of my contributions, I know that I have made a difference in Abraham's future success. I am confident that the skills and values I have imparted to him will provide the necessary tools to one day be the first in his family to go to college. This possibility has influenced my life and made me a stronger individual and has shaped my own character. After having met Abraham and his family, my passion to receive a college degree and coming to understand how important it is has caused a fire to be lit underneath me, and gave me the desire to pursue my education to its greatest potential. Furthermore, this experience has been much more than instructing Abraham, but it has triggered the upward growth of myself.

I have grown up in a household that has imprinted certain values and morals that have now become instinctive to me.

-I would change it to "I grew up in a household that instilled in me values and morals that have now become instinctive." Or something along those lines. The original is too wordy and has some tense issues.

This can be difficult when Lily, his mother, works long hours and Robert, his father, is unemployed and paralyzed from a gunshot wound and in a wheelchair.

-This should be revised as it is a bit confusing and is a bit of a run-on. I would remove "This can be difficult when" and split the rest of the sentence into two sentences.

Both of them were high school dropouts and have struggled keeping Abraham engaged in his education.
-have struggled to keep

Reading comprehension and English are the fundamental skills in academics that Abraham is learning in school now.

-Use active verbs. For instance, you might say "Abraham is now learning Reading comprehension and English in school.

It's pretty good so far but could use a revision or two to polish it up.

Also, if you wouldn't mind, I would appreciate it if you would read and offer some suggestions on my essay: "service is a part of its mission" - Pepperdine essay advice/help

I think you should use a word other than instinctive. If you look up what instinctive means, you'll see that it is not quite right for the sentence.

I have taken on the opportunity to try to imprint these same values onto a young second grader named Abraham by tutoring him with his weekly homework.----When I read this sentence, I am wondering what those values are.

I think you should name the values in the first sentence:
I grew up in a household that has instilled certain values and morals that have now become instinctive to me in me ________, ________, and __________.
(list three values)

:-)