"academic achievements and all the reputation" - WHY RICE?

What motivated you to apply to Rice University? Please be specific and limit your response to 200 words (1500 characters).[/i]

[i]This is my first draft so there may be still a lot of mistakes. And I can still write 2 more sentences, if you think I should add something to be more convincing, please feel free to say. I appreciate all your help. Tks you guys!!!

Believe it or not, I first knew about Rice not as a prestigious but as one of the most beautiful universities in the US and "Rice" was quite strange a name for a university, at least to me. But it was only when I came across with a Rice student's video about her Hispanic Culture show that I did more research about Rice. I have always dreamed of the similar: I would have my own culture show in the university where I can shout out my name to the world and proudly introduce my Vietnamese culture to my international friends.

Rice University, not to mention the great academic achievements and all the reputation you have got, is where I believe to satisfy my thirst for knowledge. A gorgeous campus that help free my mind to think outside the box, small-sized classes that make me want to actively engaged in round-table talks to share with my friends our different perspectives from our own life experience; what else can I expect!

PS: This is my first time using this. If I violate any regulations about starting a thread, plz let me know. Thank you !!!

Sounds good but some of the sentence are a bit confusing such as:

"But it was only when I came across with a Rice student's video about her Hispanic Culture show that I did more research about Rice."

I guess what you are trying to say is (I could be wrong):

It was when I came across a Rice student's video about her Hispanic Culture which motivated me to further research what Rice U is all about.

Save the grammatical errors that you already have in the response you have given, you NEED a major topic change. You talked about the universities reputation (you aren't supposed to do this even if it's good but especially if it is bad!), beauty (they already know that, not helping your cause), and inadequacy of the name (Why?). These are all cookie cutter answers that will get you nowhere. Since flattery of the university is basically your whole essay start from scrap... You can come up with one MUCH better than what you have...

Now, you need to tell them what motivated you to apply, but what they want to know is why should they choose you. What you hinted at in your response about the cultural video may be a good angle. Elaborate on that, the rich cultural diversity you know about at Rice (research and note specifics to make it seem like you really know their university like "The Vietnamese folk music ensemble would be a great way to display my own culture and help it flourish in Rice therefore, adding to the cultural crossroads that Rice provides." note that was just an off the cuff example, I don't know about a Vietnamese folk music ensemble at Rice) and how you could expand and add to it.

You response should also include how Rice has the unique/right major for you, the unique/right courses for you, unique/suitable programs for you, etc.. and how you could contribute to their school. This is a much better way to go about writing your essay :DD

sorry for being harsh :(

Tks a lot for ur comments. It's not harsh at all, dear. It helps me a lot.
I mentioned the name because it was my first impression abt Rice. The name aroused my curiosity to find more abt the school. And abt the beauty, I want to emphasize that I myself believe that not only the school reputation is important, the campus can play a vital role on helping the student to feel like at home and make them to free their mind. But I don't know how to express that properly.

I love ur comments. Do u suggest anything?
I really appreciate ur help, indeed.
Tks a lot again! Good luck, dear !!!