I am applying to the school of social sciences.
(1)With the understanding that the choice of academic school you indicated is not binding, explain why you are applying to that particular school of study. (150 word limit)
I am boundlessly fascinated by people. I love observing: why people of various races and ethnicities sometimes self-segregate in the dining hall, how people of different genders view home cuisine, or how parents of varying socio-economic statuses educate children differently. I am applying to the School of Social Sciences because I hope to learn more about humans' inter-personal behaviors. By taking courses on social inequality and participating in the many Gateway opportunities, I will apply my theoretical knowledge and analytical skills to solve tangible challenges that our society faces today.
I am also extremely interested in linguistics and the philosophy of the mind, which leads me to the cognitive science program. The cognitive science program in the School of Social Sciences will satisfy all of my interests with a potential concentration on humanities subjects such as linguistics or philosophy.
(2)What motivated you to apply to Rice University? (200 word limit) Need help cutting down 8 words...
I believe in the power of Rice's democratic ideals. I want to participate in the award - winning student newspaper, the Rice Thresher, to contribute my voice on campus. Additionally, the honors code demonstrates the mutual trusts between all members of the community, which is also why as a member of the honors committee, I helped initiate the signing of honor codes on all assessments at my school.
Rice can best suit my expectations of an urban and international experience. Rice's location in Houston will give me access to the many local attractions such as the Houston Zoo. The Kinder Institute for Urban Research is one example through which I can involve in local community and use the urban setting for my interests in sociological researches. I also want to take advantage of Rice's newly reformed language program to continue my studies in French language and culture, and apply for summer language study abroad scholarships.
Lastly, Rice's student body celebrates diversity in every sense of the word. Whether studying with a friend in library on Friday nights (granted this doesn't happen at a lot of schools), or talking about slavery economy outside the Brochstein Pavilion, I want to befriend people across all social identifiers, and I know Rice can make this can happen.
I love observing: why people of various races -- no need to use a "colon" in this case.
inter- personal behaviors- take it out
..of the community, which issoalsowhy as a member of the honors committee, I helped initiate the signing of honor
Rice's location in Houston will give me access to the many local attractions such...
and I know Rice can make this can happen.
Examples that you mention are pretty specific, and overall both essays suffice the prompt. I saw couple of grammar errors, but other than that they don't need much refinining.
I'd consider taking out one of the examples out of the second sentence. And using the extra words to better summarize your overall theme in your first paragraph.
"The Kinder Institute for Urban Research is one example through which I can involve in local community" -> "The Kinder Institute for Urban Researchwill help me get involved in ...." (If you want it to be shorter)
Overall, I like the coherence of your essay. Hope this helps :)
Help with mine 6AM Bus Ride - common app essay option 4 ( time rush)
