"both academic excellence and volunteer experiences" WHY DUKE?

After eye-witnessing an unimaginable poverty in the slums of Vietnam, I have aspired to study Sociology in depth to found an NGO that seeks to assist in bringing help and justice to third world countries. Duke is very attractive to me because it will help me achieve both academic excellence and life-changing volunteer experiences, developing myself into a well-balanced and examined individual.

Aside from the obvious reasons - driven people, school spirit and basketball - that make Duke lovable, there are two reasons that motivated me to attend Duke. First, at Duke, I will have an opportunity to put what I have learned in the lecture rooms into the real lives of people through programs like DukeEngage and SEE! The World. By volunteering and studying not just domestically, but also globally, I will be equipped with not only an expanded view of the world where I will serve, but also an awareness of the problems that I will solve. Second, at Duke, I can have all the research opportunities that I can get at a big research university, and yet still enjoy its liberal arts college benefits. Through the First-Year Seminars Program and the FOCUS program, I will be able to explore my intellectual curiosity with the guidance of the mentors who are experts in their fields. Given that I aspire to be a global leader who can reach out to those in need, I am particularly interested in taking Ethics, Leadership & Global Citizenship with Professor Suzanne E. Shanahan. A place that provides tools necessary for me to develop both as a dreamer and a human, Duke is, without a doubt, a school that I have to go.

Any feedback and correction will be much appreciated !
thank you so much for your help in advance :)

you obviously know what you can benefit from duke :)

maybe you would like to expand a little more on what you saw in Vietnam? just a little more like one to two more sentences giving the reader a fuller picture on what you saw there so that this becomes not only merely an introduction.

and maybe you would like to research a little more on what sociology is about so that maybe you will find useful materials in linking "volunteer work" and "sociology" more, making your interest more apparent. because i think so far you are very clear on what "duke as a school" can provide you with, but not "duke's social socience department"...or maybe i am not familiar with those programmes

and this setence
there are two reasons that motivate me to attend Duke.
i guess the reasons are still motivating you to attend duke right so i don't think it's motivate-d ;)

but overall i really like your work! it's clear and it's precise.

Thank you a lot for your feedback, Crystal! I will make those changes right away!