Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 2


An academic oriented family - Global Korean Scholarship Undergraduate (personal statement)



valentinamatelli 1 / -  
Sep 17, 2020   #1
Hey guys, how are you?

I'm applying for the GKS scholarship, and they require a personal statement with the following instructions:

- Motivations with which you apply for this program
- Family and Education background
- Significant experiences you have had; risks you have taken and achievements you have made, persons or events that have had a significant influence on you

- Extracurricular activities such as club activities, community service activities or work experiences
- If applicable, describe awards you have received, publications you have made, or skills you have acquired, etc.


(Personal Statement)



I come from a strongly academic oriented family as my dad is a very successful professor, who in recent years managed to get himself a post-doctored research at NASA. I believe his single parenting and our very close relationship inevitably made me see him, and by that extent, what he did for a living, as my life goal. It has always been my dream to go to a good university, get a degree and make myself proud. I struggled with different major and interests from the age 12 to 17, and it wasn't until the second semester of 2019 that I finally understood that History was my fate. I came to such conclusion after reflecting over my country's political status and having an epiphany of sorts when I realized how important historical studies are to, not only understand what has happened in the past, but how it also reflects on our present.

During my childhood books were probably my favorite item, and so was learning. Learning new facts or gaining random knowledge from life was always fascinating to me, and it got carried to my teen years. Learning English was the first step to make me hungry for other cultures than my own. When I realized I could speak, read and write in a completely different language than Portuguese, I discovered this new desire to learn as many languages as I possibly can, and it also triggered my motivation to study abroad. In 2017 I had the opportunity to spend one year in the United States, and that was the best thing it could have happened to me. Going to an American high school and getting in touch with different people that came from all types of background opened my eyes to a whole new world than what I knew before. This experience not only brought me friends and memories I'll carry with me for life, it also inspired me to pursue my bachelor's degree somewhere else, in a place where I can learn a new language and experience a different culture.

I've considered many countries as possibilities I could go to study, but South Korea always stood out, probably because, out of my options, there is where I'd find the biggest cultural clash. On one hand, this could be a discouraging aspect, but on the other, I can't see the fun in moving to a completely different place to live similarly like I would before. I always had a strong interest in Eastern countries because they always felt culturally and historically rich, and with Korea was no different. I became curious about it at first because of its music, but I soon realized it was so much more than that. Korea has an amazing history, beautiful landscapes, a fascinating language and, the biggest reason to why I to study there, one of the best educational systems in the world. The subjects covered in the History courses of several universities are so broad and detailed at the same time, I feel I would become an extremely complete professional if I got the chance to study there, which is my goal: I want to be a knowledgeable person to act in the field as a future professor.

On a more personal note onto why I'd love the opportunity live in South Korea comes in art. Art in all it's forms is one of my favorite's interest. I started drawing seriously in 2015 influenced by animes, and a few years later, was inspired to plot my own webcomic by Korean artists and their manhwas. South Korea is also well known for making one of the finest's pottery pieces (celadon) in the world, and it would be an amazing chance to live in a country so rich both historically and artistically.

Finally, I'd like to express my gratitude to the South Korean government for creating this incredible program that allows students from several countries to pursue their dreams and welcome them so willingly into your country.

I've never written a personal statement before, so I'd really appreciate it if someone could help me revise. Thank you in advance!

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15460  
Sep 18, 2020   #2
It is a good essay. It is simple in presentation and very straightforward. You delivered on most of the prompt requirements except, for the last part of the discussion suggestion with regards to awards, publications, and skills you have acquired or other related information. Truly, the presentation is informative but doesn't stand out in the eyes of a reviewer. You have presented everything in a one dimensional manner. You need to develop a more interesting character presentation. Be more creative in the presentation of events. Create interest in your activities. Don't just narrate it. Tell a story, an interactive story if you can.


Home / Undergraduate / An academic oriented family - Global Korean Scholarship Undergraduate (personal statement)
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳