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I can accomplish my research interests in Physics and Astronomy ;Oberlin Supplement!



moon05 13 / 132  
Dec 11, 2012   #1
The word Limit is 300 words. I have already reached 307.
I don't like the first sentence at all! Please help changing that and make any changes necessary elsewhere.

Prompt:Given your interests, values, and goals, explain why Oberlin College will help you grow (as a student and a person) during your undergraduate years. (300 Words)

I had to be very careful choosing a college where I would be spending my next four years. I had to made sure that I end up in a college not so big and not that small either, that has a very good community and has the option of research. I also found out I need to be in a liberal arts college because of the low student-faculty ratio. Amazingly I found out Oberlin; a place where I will be greeted wholeheartedly and will have endless opportunities to pursue my interests.

In Oberlin I can accomplish my research interests in Physics and Astronomy which will enhance my academic and scientific skills that is needed to be a successful researcher. I can also double major in Physics and Astronomy and that is a huge opportunity for me. Other than that I also have the opportunity to go to an Engineering school through the Engineering Program. I can also learn the piano and the guitar at Oberlin which has been my fascination for many years being confident that I will get the best music education from the conservatory. Other than that I can get into many clubs such as Astronomy, Coed Soccer, Cycling and Anime club. In Oberlin I can also engage myself in community service, which I have been doing for a long time here, through many programs available at the Bonner Center, I will have ample opportunity to show my leadership and volunteer skills.

At last what I can say is that at Oberlin I will not only be pursuing my intended major but also enjoying the college life through many activities available. It's the place where I will be able to thrive not only in academics but also I will be able to grow into a better human being by getting involved in the Oberlin community.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Dec 11, 2012   #2
I had to made sure

I had to make sure / I have to make sure

I had to made sure that I end up in a college not so big and not that small either, that has a very good community and has the option of research. I also found out I need to be in a liberal arts college because of the low student-faculty ratio.

Why you want a medium size college? what type community you look for? Also, what do you mean by "I also found out I need to be in a liberal arts college because of the low student-faculty ratio"????

They ask you;

Prompt: Given your interests, values, and goals, explain why Oberlin College will help you grow (as a student and a person) during your undergraduate years. (300 Words)

So you need to say why and how Oberlin answers your above concerns. It's not good enough to make statements without reasoning.
OP moon05 13 / 132  
Dec 13, 2012   #3
Okay so I managed to answer what you told. It's now 338 words and I have to keep it in 300 words. That's the main concern! Please give it a look...
dumi 1 / 6793  
Dec 13, 2012   #4
I suggest;
I want my college life to make a meaningful contribution to my future as well as the most enjoyable time in my life. Therefore my choice is a medium sized college that offers options of my research interests. This is why I find Oberlin a perfect fit for me.

I also found out I need to be in a liberal arts college because of the low student-faculty ratio as that would help me in asking about things more often.

Oberlin's low student- faculty ratio is a feature that attracts me that would enhance my opportunities to be actively involved with both academic and social engagements.
OP moon05 13 / 132  
Dec 13, 2012   #5
so should the first para be like this:

I want my college life to make a meaningful contribution to my future as well as the most enjoyable time in my life. Therefore my choice is a medium sized college that offers options of my research interests. Oberlin's low student- faculty ratio is a feature that attracts me that would enhance my opportunities to be actively involved with both academic and social engagements. This is why I find Oberlin a perfect fit for me.


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