As an accountant I work with diverse people; North Carolina State: Diversity

Prompt: NC State is a community that is strong because of the diversity of our perspectives and experiences. Please describe how you could contribute to or benefit from campus diversity. (500 Characters)

As an accountant, I will be working with people from different backgrounds, experiences, and cultures. Attending a school among the highest rankings in diversity will allow me to network. Setting up and maintaining relationships with the people I would meet, will give me an edge in the growing competitive business marketplace. The strong relationships I will develop will open the door to many possible job opportunities that other schools less diverse than NC State cannot.

What you're getting at is awesome, but every sentence is saying very similar things: "Relationships gained due to high levels of diversity will help me with my job."

Maybe try to elaborate more on the job opportunities you want, or HOW diversity is going to help you network. Is it going to simply help you meet more people? You can meet people at any school, so how is diversity, specifically, going to help you with accounting? Specifics are always good :)

And keep in mind that the limit is 500 characters, not necessarily the goal. If you can come up with just one or two really awesome sentences, then that'll be better than repeating the same idea three times to get near the character limit. :)

Your vocabulary and what you're saying are both great. I hope this helps a little!

I'm very interested in reading your paper; however, I cannot see it (I'm not quite sure why). Could you possibly post it as a response so I can read it?