This is my Yale and Harvard essay about my passion/experiences in acting.
I want feedback. Any corrections, suggestions or improvements?
I also think that the number of paragraphs is too much. What should I do?
I am also exceeding the word limit i.e 500 by 74 words.
HELP!
In this required second essay, tell us something that you would like us to know about you that we might not get from the rest of your application - or something that you would like a chance to say more about. Please limit your essay to fewer than 500 words.
The time is here. I hear the audience's faint murmurs and their whispers of anticipation. I feel my heart pounding against my chest and the adrenaline pumping through my veins. I know that this is it.
And then, the curtains rise.
Who I am is not whom I used to be. I am wholly transformed. I am a chameleon.
It all began at the age of six when I was cast as "Sleepy", one of Snow White's seven dwarfs. Even though I just had three lines in the entire play, I loved every bit of it. I used to stand in front of the mirror for hours and hours trying to perfect those three lines. Watching my parents' and teachers' euphoric smiles at the end of the play made me realize that acting did not only make me happy, but also others around me.
Since then, my passion for acting has just grown. Last year when the opportunity to act in the annual school play knocked on my door I went ahead and grabbed it. I easily managed to impress the director, Yasin Bhai, during the auditions. Being unaware of what role I had been assigned, I danced around in excitement when he told me I was in. Soon, however, that feeling of ecstasy was replaced by sheer disbelief.
I was supposed to play Jimmy, a gay fashion designer.
I was rendered speechless. "A gay fashion designer? I can not do this. That is something that should be done by more experienced actors, not novices like me", I told myself. "So, are you in?" asked Yasin Bhai. Without even thinking, I mumbled an uncertain 'no'. A mere whisper as it was, it passed unheard. He was still waiting for an answer, though. I found myself impaled upon the horns of a dilemma. I couldn't have let such an amazing opportunity slip through my fingers, so I went ahead and accepted the challenge.
Thereon, the next few weeks of my life revolved around Jimmy. I had to step into his shoes and live his life. I watched movies and searched videos on the internet to try and understand his character better. Within two weeks time I had started to get the grasp of how to talk, walk and act like Jimmy.
After what seemed like years of rehearsals, the time to perform arrived. I wasn't nervous but the butterflies in my stomach almost got better of me. However, once I stepped on to the stage I forgot everything else. I was in Jimmy's world, a world where he was scorned upon by his family, a world where he was treated as an outcast in his community, a world where homosexuality was considered to be a crime.
The one hour duration of the play passed in the blink of an eye. Being a perfectionist, I thought I went wrong at several points in time. But the audience's tumultuous applause recited another story altogether. The deafening uproar of claps that echoed in the theater when I bowed made me realize that I had managed win them over. Yasin Bhai's beaming smile and tight hug made me realize I had not let him down. Playing the character of Jimmy made me realize what Gene Hackman actually meant when he said ""Honesty isn't enough for me. That becomes very boring. If you can convince people what you're doing is real and it's also bigger than life -- that's exciting."
I want feedback. Any corrections, suggestions or improvements?
I also think that the number of paragraphs is too much. What should I do?
I am also exceeding the word limit i.e 500 by 74 words.
HELP!
In this required second essay, tell us something that you would like us to know about you that we might not get from the rest of your application - or something that you would like a chance to say more about. Please limit your essay to fewer than 500 words.
The time is here. I hear the audience's faint murmurs and their whispers of anticipation. I feel my heart pounding against my chest and the adrenaline pumping through my veins. I know that this is it.
And then, the curtains rise.
Who I am is not whom I used to be. I am wholly transformed. I am a chameleon.
It all began at the age of six when I was cast as "Sleepy", one of Snow White's seven dwarfs. Even though I just had three lines in the entire play, I loved every bit of it. I used to stand in front of the mirror for hours and hours trying to perfect those three lines. Watching my parents' and teachers' euphoric smiles at the end of the play made me realize that acting did not only make me happy, but also others around me.
Since then, my passion for acting has just grown. Last year when the opportunity to act in the annual school play knocked on my door I went ahead and grabbed it. I easily managed to impress the director, Yasin Bhai, during the auditions. Being unaware of what role I had been assigned, I danced around in excitement when he told me I was in. Soon, however, that feeling of ecstasy was replaced by sheer disbelief.
I was supposed to play Jimmy, a gay fashion designer.
I was rendered speechless. "A gay fashion designer? I can not do this. That is something that should be done by more experienced actors, not novices like me", I told myself. "So, are you in?" asked Yasin Bhai. Without even thinking, I mumbled an uncertain 'no'. A mere whisper as it was, it passed unheard. He was still waiting for an answer, though. I found myself impaled upon the horns of a dilemma. I couldn't have let such an amazing opportunity slip through my fingers, so I went ahead and accepted the challenge.
Thereon, the next few weeks of my life revolved around Jimmy. I had to step into his shoes and live his life. I watched movies and searched videos on the internet to try and understand his character better. Within two weeks time I had started to get the grasp of how to talk, walk and act like Jimmy.
After what seemed like years of rehearsals, the time to perform arrived. I wasn't nervous but the butterflies in my stomach almost got better of me. However, once I stepped on to the stage I forgot everything else. I was in Jimmy's world, a world where he was scorned upon by his family, a world where he was treated as an outcast in his community, a world where homosexuality was considered to be a crime.
The one hour duration of the play passed in the blink of an eye. Being a perfectionist, I thought I went wrong at several points in time. But the audience's tumultuous applause recited another story altogether. The deafening uproar of claps that echoed in the theater when I bowed made me realize that I had managed win them over. Yasin Bhai's beaming smile and tight hug made me realize I had not let him down. Playing the character of Jimmy made me realize what Gene Hackman actually meant when he said ""Honesty isn't enough for me. That becomes very boring. If you can convince people what you're doing is real and it's also bigger than life -- that's exciting."
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