Adding, subtraction, integers, and fractions, the difficult subjects - Gates

This is the start of my essay, I am not sure how to finish it so can you guys point out corrections, I know it is short and concise but that is all that came to mind.

Discuss the subjects in which you had difficulty. What factors do you believe contributed to your difficulties? How have you dealt with them so they will not cause problems for you again? In what areas have you experienced the greatest improvement? What problem areas remain?

Adding, subtraction, integers, and fractions come to mind when I think of math. An average person would think that those four concepts were basic. In fact they are, but as I grew into far more advanced classes and the math went from simple equations to the analysis of components, it was only a matter of time until my grades began to slip and me having to receive tutoring. Getting help in math was a slow and gut wrenching process but eventually I began to get the hang of what my peers seemed to grasp so easily. Fortunately I do not have to take any math classes being that I fulfilled my graduation requirements ahead of time, but if I would have never received the help in which I did not only would I be pinned with another math class but also left without the degree of knowledge I now have. Being able to improve in math has not only helped me for future math classes in college but has also given me the confidence that if I believe to achieve I can succeed.

this is just my opinion, but you seem to make a more negative point throughout the paragraph and it might not be the best way to go. The opening could be a little more captivating, and I think you should focus more on how you wanted to really succeed in math and wanted the tutoring so that you could overcome your frustration? The last sentence is a really good ending to the paragraph but i would explain it a little more before how your hard work paid off with not having to take math this year.

:) good though! honesty is what theyre looking for

this is my new essay hopefully it is better!

Great minds from India have built cities using geometric regularity, Hindu-Arabic scholars wrote books containing numerals and methods for solving equations, and Galileo used mathematics along with scientific ideas to observe the moons of Jupiter in orbit around the planet. Basic concepts such as addition, subtraction, integers, and fractions were used and those ideas to benefit us today. An average person would think that those four concepts were basic. In fact they are, but going deeper into those concepts can become harder by the day. As I grew into far more advanced classes and the math went from simple equations to the analysis of components, it was only a matter of time until my grades began to slip and for me to start receiving tutoring. Being in a Pre- Calculus class with the majority of the students who were senior's, not only discouraged me from using my full potential but I was also distracted from paying attention to the lessons being taught. Day by day I began to fall behind in my work so much that I decided to give up. Being in a class full of people who were smarter than me discouraged me until Mr. Green, my teacher, finally realized that I had fallen behind. Mr. Green found a senior who was willing to help me bring my grades up and also make math easier to understand. Getting help was a slow and gut wrenching process but eventually I began to get the hang of what my peers seemed to grasp so easily. Fortunately I do not have to take any math classes being that I fulfilled my graduation requirements ahead of time, but if I would have never received the help in which I did not only would I be pinned with another math class but also left without the degree of knowledge I now have. Being able to improve in math has not only helped me for future classes in college but has also given me the confidence that if I believe to achieve I can succeed.

hey, im doing gates too. loved your essay nice work so far but expand more on what you believe contributed to your math problems... then expand on how you dealt with the problem of math