Please give suggestions
"Anyone who keeps learning stays young"
The advent of the Internet has led to numerous new technologies that have revolutionized the world we see today. Big-tech companies such as Google, Amazon, and Microsoft have played an impactful role in establishing our modern society. The Internet has faced some ups and downs in its early phases. The dot-com bubble burst occurred in the late 1990s is one of them. People invested money in Internet-based corporations in the hopes that they would turn a profit. Such is the case with Bitcoin and the crypto market. There's so much hype around it that some people are investing money into some of these crypto projects. In its early stages, it's highly volatile, and some people find it very foolish to spend their money on it. BUT... it could be a small picture of a bigger picture that we don't know. I searched for ways to make money online because I needed it for my family. We had some crucial debt to pay, so I also wanted to aid them.
I saw some people making a large amount of money through speculative crypto investments, some becoming millionaires, and some penniless in just one day. I found that a somewhat easy task. There were significant risks, but I didn't care very least because I was desperate to help my in-debt family. Aside from crypto, there was another way of making money with ease and little significant risk, called "NFTs" (Non-Fungible Tokens, any digital asset, that can be digital art, a video, an audio file, et cetera). I changed my mind and went with NFTs. Merely, I had to chat almost 24/7 on their Discord server to show that I was interested in their project, and they would give me a whitelist to the project for buying their NFT first, on which they gave no amenities if I was an NFT holder. NFT projects are expensive and more like cash-grabbing projects (though this isn't the sole purpose of NFTs). They sell out NFTs ranging from hundreds to thousands of dollars. So if you bought their NFT and then sold it, you'd make a considerable profit, so I did the same. I took my interest in it to pay the debt we had. I made plenty from it, and eventually, we paid the debt. But still, I kept going on and on with it because it was... almost like getting free money just by chatting! But not for long!
I felt a little uneasiness that I was doing something wrong. Something that I wasn't supposed to do. I noticed that I was only doing some utter garbage and unproductive work. Because sitting almost 24/7 chatting with people was getting absurd, unreal, and very stupid. It still haunts me that I was involved in such an unproductive and nonsensical thing. I realized that there must be something more to it that this new technology provides. I started researching Blockchains, the underlying technology cryptocurrencies, and NFTs use. Blockchain is a public-distributed ledger across nodes (computers). In simple words, a record-keeping technology that's secured by reaching consensus. As I dug deeper into some of its core concepts, I found it more interesting. I kept learning more and more about it as my curiosity kept getting bigger.
After going through all the circumstances, I feel satisfied that I at least learned something along the way and left the path I was heading towards to. I made up my mind that Blockchain and the technologies that come under it still have a long way to go; I shouldn't invest anything in it but learn what it can provide to the world and learn as much as I can.
"Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young."
- Henry FordHolt Educational Consultant - / 14,867 
4791 Okay, lose the Henry Ford quote at the end. It serves no purpose when placed so late into the essay. In fact it is stand alone and therefore, makes no impact on the previous discussion anymore. The introduction is too far out of context to be useful as well. If one had discussed the development of his interest in blockchain based on the development of digital currency and how blockchain, specifically cryptocurrency paved the way for the fast development of this field, then the discussion would make more sense.
The current discussion is too relaxed and laid back. It is as if the applicant is speaking among friends rather than an admissions officer. The overall tone of the presentation too informal, even the word usage is sometimes bordering on disrespectful of the reviewer and should be refined to be more suitable for reading by an academician.
As for the content, since I do not know what sort of prompt the student is trying to reply to, I will take his word for it and consider the discussion relevant to the application. Yes, this discussion shows how his interest developed, but it focuses on the wrong aspect. Most of the essay discusses NFT's which should not be mistaken for blockchain technology. Yes, blockchain is the basis for NFT, but that is where the similarities end. Blockchain serves as the launching pad for NFT's but the systems operate differently. The writer shows that he is not really familiar with blockchain technology even though he wants to delve into deeper studies into this field.
