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'adopted a new way of living' - Personal Essay - Texas A&M/UT-Austin Transfer Essay



Anant Bagchi 1 / 3  
Jan 6, 2012   #1
Prompt: There may be personal information that you want considered as part of your admissions application. Write an essay describing that information. You might include exceptional hardships, challenges, or opportunities that have shaped or impacted your abilities or academic credentials, personal responsibilities, exceptional achievements or talents, educational goals, or ways in which you might contribute to an institution committed to creating a diverse learning environment.

On the first day of class, I took a hard look at myself. I remember my exact thoughts, as I got ready to head out to my first class on a chilly Thursday morning - "Today is the beginning of the rest of your life, don't screw it up." Since then I have been devoted to better myself in every aspect of my life.

I began by setting a clear goal for my academic future, deciding that I must maintain a 3.5 GPA or better, no exceptions. Keeping this goal in mind, I made sure to attend every class, stay on top of all assignments and take all chances to get extra help, whether that have been tutoring or going to see teaches during his/her office hours. Now, at the end of my first semester of college, I received a 3.5 GPA and happy to say all my hard work and late nights paid off.

With my academic life now in control, I looked at other aspects of my life, including my health. I looked into the mirror and the only thing looking back at me was an out of shape 17 year old. With my physical health in mind, I set a new goal. I was going to work out and eat right to get into shape. From that point on, I made it a requirement to go to the recreational center at least four times a week. The first few weeks were hard, but I fought through the pain, kept my head help up high, and kept going. Within a few short weeks, I could see noticeable differences in my physique.

Finally, with my schooling going well and my workouts ensuing exceptional results, I turned to another major obstacle blocking my path to prominence. In my 17 years of life, I never held a job. With no real experience of hard work and no sense of the value of a dollar, I set out to find a job to teach me these important life lessons. It took a few days of applying, but at last, a store manager called me in for an interview and gave me the job. What I learned at this job humbled me in many ways. I learned just how hard people work to make a dollar; I finally realized how hard my parents worked to provide for me and the life we live.

With so many new experiences in just my first semester of university, I am starting to fully understand how hard the road ahead of my really is. However, thought adversity, I have adopted a new way of living. I have found within myself an extraordinary amount of will power and determination that I have never had for anything else. My want to succeed be the best I can be is a hunger like no other. I wake up every morning with one goal in mind for the day: overcome all the challenges the day has to offer and be the best I can be.

OP Anant Bagchi 1 / 3  
Jan 6, 2012   #2
Bump! Please help, I would like this finished before the end of my winter break.

Thanks in advance for everyone's help.
kenben12 2 / 5  
Jan 6, 2012   #3
A few adjustments are to be made like

With no exceptions

Staying on top...

Intstead of schooling put educations but overall this is a nice essay about how you multi tasked during your college years
OP Anant Bagchi 1 / 3  
Jan 8, 2012   #4
thanks, kenben!

i've made those adjustments. [[still looking for help]]
Thors Hammer 5 / 60  
Jan 20, 2012   #5
Hello Anant,
By no means am I proficient in essay writings, nor, am I a high school graduate. Hence, my input shall be limited by saying to you - which is that I think that you need to reveal your character more, and in a humble and yet triumphant manner. You are letting your reader in on too broad of experiences and need to sharpen a point. A way in which you helped someone while being a testament to your gateway through maturity.

Use some literary devices as well.


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