Hello,
Here is my essay on the Common App transfer prompt:
"Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve." Up to 650 words. I currently have 616.
Some of my sentences may be cheesy, so please help me out! Also, there are some lengthy sentences that I need help shortening. I'm only applying to one college so it's specific to that one. Thank you!
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The indigenous people of my province are called the Aetas. They reside in the dense and lush forests of Mount Pinatubo as a nomadic and hunter-gatherer tribe. Despite the Spanish, American, and Japanese colonisation of the Philippines, the Aetas have managed to resist change for millennia, living peacefully on both the gentle and rugged slopes of their mountain.
In June 1991, a massive eruption of Mount Pinatubo occurred, not only killing thousands of Aetas, but also forcing them to evacuate the only home they knew. They fled to the lowlands where they had to learn a completely different way of life. They put up with insults for their primitive ways and suffered from discrimination. Unfortunate circumstances led the Aetas to adapt for survival, just like they always have. Their flexibility is what kept them afloat in the face of immense transformation.
The Aetas suffered, and the new generation of their people may never know what it feels to live on their mountain. Still, I have never seen such an array of beautiful smiles. After spending time with Aeta families in resettlement areas, I left with a new appreciation for change. Although change is an uncomfortable process, it can determine the agility and dexterity of an individual. This is why I want not only to succumb to change, but to be completely soaked in it.
After living in the Philippines for nearly 20 years, I grew up loving my country and basking in the comforts of my home. However, I believe that this is the right time for me to gain a different perspective in order to reach a new understanding of world, and of myself.
Enderun Colleges' focus on a global education has helped me shape my vision in life, and that is to be an effective and efficient social entrepreneur. However, in as much as my current school has helped me establish a greater sense of myself and my goals, I feel that there is a need to push even further.
I thrive where I am constantly inspired and challenged. After visiting George Washington University in D.C. this past fall, I quickly fell in love with its aura. The eager young minds of GWU showed me what it would be like to study and graduate in an institution that is acknowledged for its diversity, breadth of academic offerings, and location. I am extremely attracted by the opportunity of studying in a recognised university for entrepreneurship, and that is exactly what GWU is. With GWU's offering of Bachelor in Business Administration, with a specialisation in Innovation and Entrepreneurship, as well as the integration of research opportunities in the academics, I am positive that my growth will accelerate drastically.
In GWU, I believe my intellectual curiosity and craving for education will be satisfied. I expect that my Filipino background will be of great use in proposing new ideas to peers, which is something I look forward to as well. I aim to be as involved as possible, with some of the many clubs and organisations that focus on doing good in this world.
The school is not merely located in D.C., but completely immersed in it. As much as I am transferring for mostly academic reasons, I know that living in D.C. will open my eyes to a new perspective of the world, and will enhance my abilities to help improve it.
It took a while for me to get to know myself and the kind of person I want to be. But now that I do, change is what will push me to become that person. Change is the catalyst in my story, just like it was for the ever adapting Aetas.
Here is my essay on the Common App transfer prompt:
"Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve." Up to 650 words. I currently have 616.
Some of my sentences may be cheesy, so please help me out! Also, there are some lengthy sentences that I need help shortening. I'm only applying to one college so it's specific to that one. Thank you!
---
The indigenous people of my province are called the Aetas. They reside in the dense and lush forests of Mount Pinatubo as a nomadic and hunter-gatherer tribe. Despite the Spanish, American, and Japanese colonisation of the Philippines, the Aetas have managed to resist change for millennia, living peacefully on both the gentle and rugged slopes of their mountain.
In June 1991, a massive eruption of Mount Pinatubo occurred, not only killing thousands of Aetas, but also forcing them to evacuate the only home they knew. They fled to the lowlands where they had to learn a completely different way of life. They put up with insults for their primitive ways and suffered from discrimination. Unfortunate circumstances led the Aetas to adapt for survival, just like they always have. Their flexibility is what kept them afloat in the face of immense transformation.
The Aetas suffered, and the new generation of their people may never know what it feels to live on their mountain. Still, I have never seen such an array of beautiful smiles. After spending time with Aeta families in resettlement areas, I left with a new appreciation for change. Although change is an uncomfortable process, it can determine the agility and dexterity of an individual. This is why I want not only to succumb to change, but to be completely soaked in it.
After living in the Philippines for nearly 20 years, I grew up loving my country and basking in the comforts of my home. However, I believe that this is the right time for me to gain a different perspective in order to reach a new understanding of world, and of myself.
Enderun Colleges' focus on a global education has helped me shape my vision in life, and that is to be an effective and efficient social entrepreneur. However, in as much as my current school has helped me establish a greater sense of myself and my goals, I feel that there is a need to push even further.
I thrive where I am constantly inspired and challenged. After visiting George Washington University in D.C. this past fall, I quickly fell in love with its aura. The eager young minds of GWU showed me what it would be like to study and graduate in an institution that is acknowledged for its diversity, breadth of academic offerings, and location. I am extremely attracted by the opportunity of studying in a recognised university for entrepreneurship, and that is exactly what GWU is. With GWU's offering of Bachelor in Business Administration, with a specialisation in Innovation and Entrepreneurship, as well as the integration of research opportunities in the academics, I am positive that my growth will accelerate drastically.
In GWU, I believe my intellectual curiosity and craving for education will be satisfied. I expect that my Filipino background will be of great use in proposing new ideas to peers, which is something I look forward to as well. I aim to be as involved as possible, with some of the many clubs and organisations that focus on doing good in this world.
The school is not merely located in D.C., but completely immersed in it. As much as I am transferring for mostly academic reasons, I know that living in D.C. will open my eyes to a new perspective of the world, and will enhance my abilities to help improve it.
It took a while for me to get to know myself and the kind of person I want to be. But now that I do, change is what will push me to become that person. Change is the catalyst in my story, just like it was for the ever adapting Aetas.